Who You Are
by Greg Styles
Summary: Meet Johnny DiMarco: proud boyfriend of Darcy Edwards and possibly the most feared kid in Degrassi. But he wants to change the very personality that has given him that poor reputation. In order to change, he must first find out who he really is.
1. Chapter 1

[ Happy New Year everyone! I have returned yet again with the promised "sequel" (if you will, more of a spin-off) to my other story, "The Girl Who Sold the World". In this story we are following none other than Johnny DiMarco, of course checking in on the other characters. I was actually going to post sooner than this, but with all the Johnny stories out there I didn't think the time was right, but i figured I'd better post before the story becomes irrelevant. So here it is.

Please bear with the fact that this is based off my previous Darcy story, and while there are little summaries in the story that kind of give you a reminder of what happened, you probably won't understand it fully unless you have read chapters 15-30 in the other story (particularly the last few). This is my take on the Johnny character for the record, as I do not watch the show now and don't know of any changes. This takes place in 2008, remember that. I haven't finished writing the story honestly since i've been on a bit of a writer's block but the story will stop at 20 chapters (currently at 10).

So without further adieu I present you my 2nd story which me playing around with 1st person writing. Please review this one! And if you need a bit of a follow up on my Darcy story, have no fear. The link will be posted at the end of the chapter. Thank you, happy new year, and enjoy! ]

**Disclamer**: I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters. I only own this story and it's content.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter One: Dream the Dreams..**_

I love my life.

Well I don't really love it like hippie stuff or any of that...and I don't really like love it either. Well, I don't hate it and I don't love it but, it's making progress you could say.

Then again when I think about it, I never really hated being Johnny DiMarco. Being me always has its perks.

But then again, it's got its downsides.

Like there's only one thing that I really, truly regret if I think. I could even tell you what I was thinking and everything. It hasn't left my mind.

_God, I was so damn wasted that night. It was a kick ass party too, man...but I was just so wasted. I really remember pissing on this kid's car...it was JT's car. That JT kid...I never really had anything against him, but I didn't like him for some reason. Everyone says he was a really stand up guy._

_So I'm just pissing on his car when he shows up._

"_Couldn't find a toilet?_" _Someone asked. I turned around and it was JT, so you know, I laughed because he saw what I was doing to his car. I remember I was with my friend Drake. I'd known him for a while and we were okay friends. Had a terrible anger problem though._

"_He did." Drake said, also laughing._

"_I get it. My car sucks...ha ha. You guys slay me with your humor." JT replied. He walked over to his car and I don't know if it was the tone or just his sarcasm that set Drake off, but something did. I felt it, but I didn't let it bug me, ya know? I didn't think it would be a problem._

_I was done peeing so I walked away with Drake, until I heard him turn around and say something like "Well mascot boy, laugh at this."_

_And that's when I saw the blade._

_I couldn't freaking believe this guy's anger. He'll pull a knife on a dude just for his sarcasm...but I felt it. I felt something in me that told me that he was getting mad and I didn't let it bother me. Damnit, I should have let it bother me._

_He sprinted at him like he was in a damn race. I didn't even have a chance to react or anything. It happened so quickly. I would have stopped him, I swear I would have. I really couldn't believe what the hell was going on._

_Then I saw that nasty, bloody wound in JT's back. That's when reality kicked in and time sunk in. _

"_Man, what the hell did you do?!" I asked Drake. He couldn't believe what he'd done either. I could see that he couldn't believe where his anger had taken him. As we saw his lifeless body sink to the ground, we ran._

_We ran past Liberty. She's one of Degrassi's many 'goody goody' girls, but I'm pretty sure she had a thing for JT. When we ran clear past all the houses and far away from the area, I'll never forget what I heard after._

_Screams. No...squeals for help. The last time I'd ever heard anyone yell like that was my mother...but we'll get into her later._

And that's what I remember, and that's what I regret. Even though it wasn't me, I knew damn well of this crazy kid's anger issue and I even felt it. I really would have stopped it if I could have, and the only way I could possibly help was by snitching, so I did. I told the cops exactly what I just told you just now and they kept telling me it wasn't my fault. But I felt something! Damnit, it was my fault!

So after that the feud between Degrassi and my school Lakehurst only got bigger and bigger. It's like, fine, one kid from our school did it, one kid. Why the hell are you terrorizing us because of what one kid did? He's in jail now and he probably regrets it too. Why couldn't they have moved on?

I'll tell ya, you'll never be able to get me to describe how it felt feeling like the most hated person in the whole school. And that's what all of us Lakehurst kids felt. All of us.

But whatever. It's different now though. It's better now. But I've got this thing I'm dealing with...I don't know what it is. I guess it's like a burden or something...I heard someone use that expression once and I think that's how it is.

Well, whatever it is, it's bugging the hell outta me and I want it off.

-----------------

My other story:

**/ybgelde**


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter 2. I'm glad to say that I'm halfway done with the newest chapter (chapter 11) thanks to a couple of certain Johnny stories that gave me some ideas and motivation. I was surprised to have gotten a review so early but I am glad I did (thanks alot to SoxGirl18, who has Johnny stories out that you all should read). This chapter kind of belongs in the other story, but since it dealt with Johnny I figured I'd put it for this one. The story picks up from chapter 3 on, so if you haven't fully understood my version of Johnny then please read the other story. Please review! Thanks for reading, enjoy, and i'll see you tomorrow for another chapter.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Two: Burden in My Hand**_

Ya know, I spent all that time going on about my regrets and stuff and I didn't even say why I kinda love my life.

I've got a few reasons. One, I won't be going to jail or juvie or have to deal with annoying cops anytime soon. And two, because I'm with a girl who I actually love for once, and her name is Darcy.

In fact, my love for her is what kept me out of juvie in the first place. Trust me, I would usually have been the last person to pour out my feelings in front of a judge like some kinda wimpy girl or something, but that's what I did and he felt for me. You probably think it was just some excuse to get me out of trouble, but it really wasn't. What I was feeling towards this girl was love, or at least I think it is.

But I know I'll have to change a little to adjust myself to her. Like I can't be stealing from places or drinking a whole lot or anything because then I'll just get in trouble. It's kinda like I have to be a softy...screw that, that's not happening. I'll change sooner or later.

Speaking of change, she told me something last week that I can't forget and I won't ever.

We were hanging out that afternoon at the park. I'm pretty sure it was a Sunday or something. She wanted to sit by the creek but I didn't want that cheesy crap so we sat by a bench instead. I really hoped she wasn't going to leave me.

"Johnny, I have to tell you something."

Uh oh. I thought it could have been two things; 1 she's cheating on me, and 2 she's gay. The 2nd one isn't too bad though. Kinda hot.

"Well, what is it?" I asked. I was pretty sure it was the 1st one.

"Something happened to me at this party a while ago." She said. She started crying, so this definitely wasn't good.

"Don't cry. It's alright."

"No it's not. I'm sorry...but I was raped."

She was raped. I couldn't believe it. My heart was going a hundred a second and I felt so weird. I got flashbacks, but I won't say when just yet. Then I just started getting pissed off about it. I'm still mad really. It's just that I don't know what idiot would do that to such a good girl like Darcy, and I hate that I've taken advantage of her before. Now I know what she meant back at that retreat...

"I'm sorry." I said. There was just silence. "I'm just so pissed off."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No no, just the douchebag who did it. I'm sorry Darce, but I can't be here right now. I have to cool off." I said. I walked off in a rage.

I wish I didn't have to leave her like that but I had to...I was so mad. I didn't wanna snap or anything and do something stupid...that was the right thing to do right? To be honest I do wish I had been there for her a little more..she had already done so much for me.

Oh crap, speaking of which...I have a meeting with the principal tomorrow at school! Damnit, how could I have forgotten?!


	3. Chapter 3

Here's where the action takes place. It seems like a habit of mine of having the plot lift off at chapter 3. And I am proud to say that I finished writing chapter 11 yesterday, which probably will be shortened down and split up. Here's a solid one. Thanks goes out to anyone who read and reviewed, and I hope I can get more reviews! Take care, please review and enjoy!

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Three: Fly Me to the Moon**_

"You gotta dress to impress, Johnny."

That's what my mom keeps telling me. I tell her it's not a big deal but all she says is..

"Still, you gotta dress to impress." I'm getting tired of hearing that already. I really hate getting dressed up for anything and I won't do it unless I have to.

Today's the 'big' meeting at school with Ms. Hatzilakos. I don't know how, but Darcy convinced her to meet with me to see if I can get let back into the school. If you didn't hear, I was expelled for fighting and I even pulled a knife on this kid Peter. It wasn't like I was gonna actually stab him or anything, I just wanted to scare him.

My mother checked inside the bedroom for my father. Luckily he had already left for work, so she just went into his room when she saw the coast was clear. Some people say I get my sneakiness from my mom, and that's probably the case. She went into the closet and pulled out a jacket, black pants and a tie. There's no way she's expecting me to wear that.

"Here, you should wear this." She said, smiling down at me like I was some kid going to church.

"There's no way..."

"C'mon, take it. You're going to be late." She gave me the clothes. I couldn't make up an excuse and say something like I didn't have a dress shirt because we both knew I had one in my room somewhere. It's that and my dad probably had one in that same closet, so I didn't want to risk it.

I looked in the mirror in the bathroom once I had those clothes on and I really looked like a freakin' nerd. The pants were too high so I lost the belt, the tie was annoying so I lost that, and I popped the top button because I didn't wanna feel like a weirdo. I looked down at the sink and saw that my mom had left my comb in there, but there was no way I was going to comb my hair. I don't care what anyone says. The hat's staying.

"Well, that's better than I expected." Mom told me. She clearly didn't expect me to wear any of that cheesy suit. I went in my room for a while and under my bed I found this ripped up little book. When I picked it up I saw that it was a pocket dictionary and I swear I nearly threw it back under where it belonged. But then I thought about my mom, and how important my education was to her, since she never got to graduate from high school herself.

The last thing I wanted to do is let my mom down again, especially after all those times I've been in trouble with the cops. Yeah, so I opened it. I didn't exactly know how to used one of these things since I hate reading, but I flipped through the pages and here's what I found:

_**Cog-i-tate:**__ v. Think (about)_

_**Ac-cred-it**__: v. To certify_

_**fa-cil-i-ty:**__ n. Something built to serve a specific function_

_**per-mu-ta-tion**__: n. The act of alteration or change_

I didn't spend too much time on this because I was starting to get bored, so I just wrote the words on my arm. It was time to go and I made my way towards the exit with my mom kissing me and wishing me luck. I wasn't going to let her down again, I couldn't and I won't. The next time I see her I want her to be smiling and proud of me, not frowning and waving me goodbye in that police car.

I'm not gonna BS you and say I walked proudly through the streets like professor geek, because really I was rushing to school. I didn't need to have anyone that knew me to see me dressed like that, so I just kept a low profile. Thankfully when I saw the school's steps ahead of me nobody really saw me or recognized me since it was like 10 in the morning. I don't think anyone would have recognized me either since I wasn't allowed to be on school grounds.

When I walked through the halls and past some of the classrooms, some kids looked at me and already knew who I was. I even heard laughing. Damnit, I really hate this stupid suit. The old Johnny DiMarco wouldn't have let this petty laughing continue. He would have silenced them for good...but then again, the old Johnny DiMarco has been picked up so many times that he knew half the police squad's names by heart, and has seen detention more than anyone.

So I guess I'm changing now, because the old Johnny sure as hell wouldn't be caught dead in a suit. To make things better I saw Mia down the hall and we made eye contact, but I found something else to look at when I sped past her. I heard her call my name but I just rushed over to the principal's office.

I sat in the main office waiting to be called in and guess what, another Lakehurst guy came in. He probably got caught doing something, and he sat right next to me. I looked away but the bastard kept looking at me, until he finally spoke.

"Whoa, no way! DiMarco?"

I just ignored him. Girls used to do that to me all the time, so maybe if I did it it'll work. Ignore 'em, and they'll go away.

"I know it's you, but how? I can't believe this!"

I just couldn't ignore him.

"...Yeah, sup man?"

"It really is you. How'd you manage to get back? And why are you in a suit, dude?"

Then, I heard the secretary say the words I'd been waiting to hear,

"Johnny DiMarco, Ms. Hatzilakos will see you now."

I got the hell out of there as quickly as possible. That guy probably thought I was getting a job interview to be a janitor or something.

I took the short walk to her office and I was a little nervous. All I had to do was use these dictionary words and show her I changed, right? It can't be that difficult, could it? I opened the door and she looked at me with a smile.

Well, here goes nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the 4th chapter. Ive noticed the amount of stories with Johnny and Alli..i'll tell you right now that Alli will not be in this story. Even though i've said it before, I don't watch the show currently, so I'm not familiar with any of the new wave characters. The new characters won't be included since most of the story was already written. Anyway, this chapter sets the tone for the rest of them, and the next chapter is really, really deep. I wrote this sometime during the summer and there's a little reference to football player Michael Vick in there for you sports fans. Anyway here it is. Please review, and I hope you enjoy!

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Four: Turning Point**_

"Johnny DiMarco is that really you? Wow, I guess Darcy was right about you, but we'll see about that. Take a seat. " Ms. Hatzilakos said.

I guess what mom said about dressing to impress really does work. I closed the door and made my way over to the chair and sat down. I fixed my jacket and popped my collar. Yeah, you could say I was a little confident. She pulled out some papers and put her reading glasses on.

"So, you've had quite an extensive record and it hasn't been for the better, and the recent events haven't helped you either. So, why should I allow you back into my school?"

Alright, here goes. Johnny, don't screw this up..

"Well ma'am, I think I changed. If you don't believe that then just look at this silly suit."

"Why do you wanna come back?"

That was a good question but I couldn't think of a lot of reasons. The only reason that came to mind was my mother, and how I didn't wanna let her down. What are some other reasons though? Let me think...

There's Darcy. If she let me back in I could spend a lot more time with her. As of now I only get to see her after school and on the weekends, but if I got let back I could have her for pretty much the whole day. There's one!

There's also the education, but she could say I could go somewhere else. Maybe I'll say the teachers here are different and stuff. Nevermind, that won't work. Besides, we both know I never listen to the teachers anyway. Then again it's not like I chose to come here, I'd still be at Lakehurst if it didn't catch on fire.

"Well the main reason is because of my mother."

"Your mother is making you do this?"

"No, I'm doing it on my own. Look, my mom didn't graduate from high school and she's made it a goal to make sure one of her kids does. I admit I nearly pissed that awa--sorry, messed that up, but I have changed and that's what I wanna do I guess. I think I've let her down enough and I really can't afford to do it again. I guess what I'm saying is I want her to be proud of me."

She smiled and nodded. Freakin' sweet! I might be able to pull this off!

"Well Johnny, that was very sweet. And--"

"I'm sorry to interrupt you but I just want to say that...I'm sorry." I hate those two words so much that my mouth felt like crap after I said it. But I did, and since I'm trying to start new here, I know I'll have to say those two words a lot.

I was saying I was sorry because of everything yeah, but I really meant because of Peter. That was the moment that I realized that she was his mother and that she'll probably be tougher on me because of it.

"I'm sorry about Peter." She kind of frowned and looked down.

"Yeah, we'll have to talk about that. Why did you have to pull a knife on him? Were you really going to stab him?"

"No, not really." I wasn't really. To be honest I don't even know what I was thinking. "I was trying to scare him I guess. He was messing my life up and I just couldn't take it anymore. I wouldn't stab him or anyone. I've seen it happen before...and I haven't forgotten."

"What's the problem with you two?" She asked. I don't think she knew I was taking about me seeing JT die, but that was alright because I didn't want to talk about that.

"We don't get along." Those were the nicest words I could ever say about Peter. To be honest I hate his guts, but I didn't wanna say that to his mother who happens to be the principal. The fact that Darcy's my girl and Peter's the one who really wanted her back is icing on the cake.

"I see." Crap. Her tone had changed, and it wasn't looking good for me all of a sudden. I have to make it better somehow. Desperate times, desperate measures, right?

"It would mean a lot to me if you..." I started rolling my sleeve up but did so that she couldn't see it. "..If you cogitate accrediting me back into your facility." I sounded so stupid saying that, but I got some satisfaction out of it because she looked like she didn't even know what the hell I was saying.

I swear, it's one in a lifetime that the dictionary beats the teacher.

"Darcy told me that you changed, and you're telling me the same. The main thing that needs to be shown before I can consider letting you back is that you have in fact changed."

"I don't want to be a wise guy or anything, but don't you think it must be true if someone like Darcy told you?"

There was a pause. I think that means I made a point. "That's exactly what I was thinking, but I guess I need a little more. What exactly about you, apart from the suit, has changed?"

"Well, the fact that I'm even here is a sign, but there is more. When I got arrested again I started to feel this weird feeling. It was kinda like I was missing something or someone, but it was weird and I had never felt that way."

"And that 'something' was Degrassi?"

"No." I said. This probably would have screwed me up, but I figure if I told the truth it would help. "It was actually Darcy. She made me realize that this feeling was love. That's what I told the judge and he let me off the hook to give me another chance because I guess he saw poiencial in me."

"Potential, you mean?"

"Yeah, that." So much for those dignified dictionary words. Hold on, if the judge wanted to give me a chance...wait a minute! "It makes sense now!"

"What does?"

"I think deep down you think the same about me. I think you want to give me another chance!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you dropped the charges!" That's when she broke a smile. I didn't find out she dropped the charges against me for pulling the knife until after the judge. Well, I didn't find it out per say, I realized it. If she didn't I'd be sitting in a jail cell possibly.

"Well, I do think you have potential, and you just proved that to me by figuring that out. However you must remember, my first priority here is the safety of the kids at Degrassi, and I can't even consider letting you back in if anyone would be in danger. Especially my son Peter."

"I promise you I really changed. It will take time for sure, but I'm not gonna walk around starting fights or pulling weapons again. I just..I can't let my mom down, ya know?" I said. She smiled again and started writing something down on her paper.

"Alright Johnny, I'll tell you what. I'll let you back in on a conditional basis."

I was kinda confused by that term, and she saw it by my puzzled face. Looks like I'll really need the education.

"That means there's a catch. There are several catches, really. One being if you get into another fight or continue to carry weapons with you, you'll be expelled again and won't be reconsidered. Two, you have to serve the detention punishment with your buddies Lucas and all of them. Three, I also want you to see Ms Sauvé once a week to manage your anger. And four, you'll have to apologize to Peter, Mr. Simpson, and any one of your peers involved in all of this."

The worst part was the last part. Not only do I hate apologizing, I sure as hell didn't want to do it to Peter. I'll say it to Simpson for having to break up the fight, no problem, but Peter? C'mon, show some mercy.

"Johnny, I believe in you and I do want you to be successful and graduate. I wouldn't be giving you a chance if I didn't believe in you, so if you promise me you'll abide by the conditions, then it'll be my pleasure to welcome you back into Degrassi."

Holy crap! I did it! I actually did it! Words can't express how happy I am, but then again...its school. It's waking up early and doing homework and reports...ugh, my mom's lucky I love her. At least I get to see my friends and Darcy more.

"Thank you, Ms Hatzilakos. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome. You can come back tomorrow. Don't let me down, Johnny."

"I promise I won't." That whole thing seemed like a scene from some corny movie, but I did mean those words. I was in detention all the time so no problem, and I just have to show up at Sauvé's, right? Hopefully she'll help me not get the urge to beat people up. The hardest will be the apologies, but I'll get over it.

I left her office with pride. I wasn't smiling and skipping out like some fairy though. The first thing I did when I was out of her office was take off that stupid jacket. I un-tucked my shirt too. I turned my head and saw Ms. Hatzo looking at me and smiling which was weird but whatever. I feel proud of myself for once, and I'm glad I convinced her!

When I got home I saw my mom on the couch watching some show on TV. I wanted to tell her about it, but then I smelled smoke coming from the bathroom. That means that dad's home.


	5. Chapter 5

Hope everyone is not too tired from their first day back in school! Here is the newest chapter. This one is very, very deep and if youre someone that's really really sensitive then you probably shouldn't read this one. It's very good to know that despite the lack of reviews I still get people reading and subscribing, and I thank you for that. Anyway here it is, please review and enjoy! I will see you tomorrow with a new chapter.

_**Who You Are: A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Five: Backed in a Corner**_

I guess I should tell you about my mom and dad and the whole situation there. Maybe then you'll see why I'm so worried about making her proud.

When I was 5 years old I remember lying down on my bed and playing my Game Boy. It was a good time really, I loved my Game Boy. I was playing the new Pokémon that came out and I just loved it. Somewhere in the background I heard loud noises and screaming so I just assumed my dad was watching a Chuck Norris movie or something. Very little scared me, but I wasn't scared since I thought it was a movie.

Then the noise stopped and my dad came into my room.

"Hey kiddo, you wanna see something really cool?" He asked. I was pretty sure he was gonna show me something cool like an autographed Wayne Gretsky hockey stick, or a cool football. I paused my game, saved it and turned it off. He smiled as I sprung out of my bed and went to follow him.

"I thought you would! You'll really like this." He said. We walked out of the room.

As we walked through the living room I saw that the TV was off, so I assumed he just turned it off before he came into my room. I was excited, really. Why shouldn't I have been? I thought it would be something totally cool, because dad always had cool stuff to show me. Then we made our way over to his bedroom and opened the door.

My mother was sitting on the bed, crying. She was holding her right cheek for some reason.

"Mommy what's wrong?" I asked, being a curious, sad, and concerned 5 year old. I don't really remember my seeing my mom cry before that. She didn't answer my question. She just sat there sobbing.

"Hey Johnny boy, take a seat over there." He told me. He pointed to the corner and there was a small chair there.

"Dad, am I in trouble?"

"No, no son. I just wanna show you something cool. Sit down." I made my way over and sat down. Then my dad closed the door. He turned around, grinned at my mother, and rolled his sleeves up.

I swear to everything I know that I'll never forget what happened next.

"So Johnny boy," Johnny boy was the nickname he'd always had for me. I used to love it so much. "You like girls?"

"Not really. They have cooties."

"Exactly, they have cooties. And do you know what you should do about girls that have cooties?"

"No, what?"

"Well that's what I'm gonna show you right now." He said. Then his face got angrier and my mom's sobs got louder. He turned towards my mom. He hit her.

She yelled when he hit her and fell on her side on the bed. I just sat there with my mouth open.

"Jason, please. Not in front of him! Please no."

"Don't you think Johnny boy should know what he should do to girls with cooties?" He said. He struck her again in the face.

And I just sat there. My eyes widened.

"Why...why are you hurting mommy?" I asked. My voice was quivering, kinda. He then started loosening his belt. I thought I said something wrong and was about to get whipped myself, so I kept my mouth shut from then on.

He then started striking my mother with the belt to her body and face. I cried and ran out of the room. The bastard just laughed and closed the door.

This is how I was raised from then on. Whenever my mother did something to piss him off, he called me into his room and forced me to watch. This went on for ten years until he finally stopped calling me in. He just did it freely anyway.

He told me that women were nothing but objects to men. He said women were to please us, and that was their job. If they didn't do their job, you're supposed to beat their asses until they do. These sexist beliefs were stupid, but I'd be lying if I said they didn't affect me.

His attitude got me stealing. Selling drugs, jumping people, and most of all treating girls like objects. I'm not proud to say that I still kind of believe it, but damnit, it's how I was raised. It's not my fault.

Darcy really got me thinking different about girls. Well, she got me thinking different about her. I've never actually loved a girl like I do her. Thank God for her, I guess…

So that's the story. My dad's been an abusive jerk off since then and I haven't said anything because I'm probably too afraid to get my ass handed to me and believe it or not, my mom asked me not to. Why? Because she loves him.

Mom saw me and turned around. She smiled. "So, how did it go?"

I didn't answer. "He's home?"

She sighed. "Yeah."

"Whatever. I'll be in my room." I walked to my room and my mom seemed let down that I didn't answer. I guess she assumed I wasn't let back in. When I got to my door I turned back a little and saw a shirtless man emerge out of the bathroom holding a cigar. Of course it was my dad. I went into my room and closed the door before he could see me.

"Hey, was that Johnny boy?" I heard him ask.

"No Jason, it was the tooth fairy. Who else do you think?"

"What the hell did you say to me woman? You gotta be kidding me with that attitude! You're lucky I'm not slapping the hell out of you right now."

"Great..." She said. She got a little sassy there, and while I was a little proud of her for standing up, I was a little afraid for her for doing it. "What's stopping you?"

"You know what, let's go." He said. I heard somewhat of a struggle and my mom telling him to stop. The noises got lower and they went into the bedroom. Then I heard the noises, but they were a little different.

I'm pretty sure at this point he was raping her, but I tried to think that the noises just came from the TV. I wonder where my Game Boy is.


	6. Chapter 6

My apolgies for the long update! I have been slapped with an enormous term paper that I was working on and generally i've been busier than expected. Have no fear though, I will post but with a varied schedule. I'll post every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday so that I can get new chapters done and still won't be too busy. Once again sorry for the update. Thanks for the reviews and reads from the last chapter, and I hope you can do the same with this one! Enjoy!

_**Who You Are: A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Six: What's your Part?**_

I hate waking up early. It's annoying as hell and I'm not a morning person. I don't think anyone, even the nerds like waking up early for school. But whatever, I won't whine about it because I'll have to do it for a while.

I didn't tell anyone I was coming back, but I'm sure people saw me when I was in there anyway. I kinda wanted it to be a surprise only to Darcy really; I don't care about anyone else. Well, maybe Lucas and the guys. I think they come back today too. That'd be cool too. The main thing though was Darcy...and of course there's always my mom. I don't think she really knew, but I think a part of her had a feeling.

My mom's had a lot of crap happen to her with my dad and stuff, but she still wakes up everyday looking like...like she's happy. I know she isn't at all with it, but she acts like it. She doesn't need to BS just because I'm here. That whole 'putting a happy face for the kids' crap only works on 3 year olds. She just can't be happy, but why is she? Gah, enough about my mom for now. This is supposed to be about me.

I woke up late as usual. School is at around 8:30 and I'm up at 7:45. Great. I kinda halfassed on the shower and probably didn't put as much deodorant as I wanted to but I didn't want to be late because then Hatzo will get the wrong impression and she'll just kick me out again. I was finished with everything at around 8 so I was looking good. I ran out of the house only to start walking to school. Didn't make sense at all.

I walked past this coffee place that all the Degrassi kids hang out at. I think it's called The Dot or something stupid like that. When I was down the block, I heard someone calling me from outside The Dot.

"Ay, Johnny!"

I turned around, and guess who it was. It was Lucas. He ran over to me and we gave each other a little pound. It was really good seeing him again.

"How the hell have you been, man?" I asked him.

"The usual, you know. Causing trouble, my kid, stuff like that. But what about you? You're the talk on the block now...everyone's saying how you managed to stay out of juvie. How'd you do it?"

If he thought I was about to tell him that I told the judge that I loved some girl after not seeing this guy for ages, he was kidding. No freakin' way. I'll tell him sooner or later.

"Eh, you know me. I've got my ways."

"There's my boy! So where the hell are you going this early? Don't tell me you've got a court date or something.."

"Actually I'm going back to Degrassi." His eyes widened and he gave me a pound.

"No way! They let you back in? How the hell?"

"Johnny DiMarco's got his way with Hatzo, ya know..."

"The female Mr. Simpson I see, playing the seductive card eh? Well played." He was joking but I punched him in the arm. After all, he was joking about my girlfriend.

"Dude, let's get the hell out of here. I don't want to be late."

"Did Johnny DiMarco really just say he didn't wanna be late?"

"Damn right dude, I've already got detention with you clowns already. I'd love to have a life, you know." He smiled and punched me in the shoulder and we walked off to school.

You know, in a kid's movie, that would have ended with us holding hands and skipping merrily to school.

We snuck into homeroom at around 8:28 which was a miracle. Along the way to school it seemed like I knew everybody in the street and I had to say hey. Our homeroom person was Simpson, great.

"Great way to come back, guys." Simpson said.

"Hey man, we weren't late were we?" Lucas said. Point of the year right here.

"Yep, keep it that way." He said. The only good thing about homeroom with Simpson was that we had it in his little computer room. I remember having computer class with him before everything happened, it was fun. Me and Lucas would just try to crack the codes to see if we can get into Myspace or see some nudie pictures but we always got busted.

For some reason I got like 15 million IMs from people who were sitting in that same homeroom class, wondering if it were actually me. Simpson saw it and tried to tell them to turn the messaging off, but nobody listened to him. I looked across the classroom with a sly grin on my face and saw Emma Nelson eyeballing me. Except it really wasn't in the way that you're thinking of.

Lucas noticed. "That Emma's been eyein' you the whole time, you killer. She wants you."

"Dude, I don't think a girl who wants me would look at me like _that._ She's looking at me like I owe her rent money."

"Don't worry about that. Watch, she's gonna walk over here and play hard to get. Just play along."

"I don't even like her though."

"You don't have to; in fact it's better if you don't. It makes them want you more. I swear man, you'll be a legend soon!" Any time you talk about girls with Lucas it's always funny in some way and he always gets a little ticked off because he thinks he's giving good advice.

She was talking to a girl next to her. Of course, it was Manny Santos, her buddy. She used to be Darcy's friend too, but I don't know now. Manny started moving her head around the computers to look at me too. Lucas noticed this too of course.

"Maybe you're a legend now already." He said. "You've already got both of them wanting you. Dude, you gotta tell me the secret."

After they said more words to each other, me and Lucas forgot about them and started talking to each other about something else. I swear it seemed like it was seconds later that we found Manny standing above us with her hands on her hips. She had the same 'rent money' expression that Emma had.

"What are you doing here? I thought they kicked you out." Manny said.

"Well, they let me back in." I said. I really tried not to be a smartass because I was trying to change. It's way difficult with Manny though.

"That's right, Johnny! Play it cool." Lucas commented.

"Lucas, shut up." Manny said.

"Relax, Manny." I said. "Whatever the problem is..."

"I really think you need to leave Darcy. You're not good for her at all, and you're probably using her." She said. Of course, Lucas perked up when she said I need to _leave_ Darcy.

He began to say something. "You're with Dar--"

"I'm not good for her okay, but Peter is? Didn't he use her to get some?"

"Neither of you are good for her. She told everyone she was raped, and she's probably depressed over it. She doesn't need the stress from you. Do her a favor and just leave."

"Manny, it's my first day back. Give me a break."

"You don't deserve one for everything you've done. I don't know why you're here, but I really don't like it."

"Well that's just sad isn't it?" I sarcastically said. The girl's assertiveness is just annoying. I looked over at Emma. "And you wanna tell your friend over there to stop staring at me? It's freaking me out."

Bad idea, Johnny. She heard what I said and nearly screamed at me from across the room.

"Freaking you out?!" She exclaimed. She got up and walked over and I let out a sigh.

"Nice to see you, Emma. How have you been?" I said. I was being a jerk at that point so it's not like I was serious.

"I'm freaking you out? You're a thug who pulls knives on people and ruin people's lives. If anyone should be freaked out it should be everyone here. Why did they even let a jerk like you back here anyway? Nobody missed you, nobody wants you here."

"That's nice." I replied. I didn't need this crap now. I wanted to have a good day back, damnit. Lucas just watched on.

"And by the way, Darcy's only with you because she feels sorry for you. Everyone knew how lonely and desperate you were, and she was just really nice to act on it." Emma said before taking Manny back to where they were. That comment hadn't affected me at all, but Lucas sat there looking surprised.

"When the hell did you get with Darcy? Dude, you're a legend!"

I sighed again. Damnit, I wanted to have a good day back!


	7. Chapter 7

Here's the second chapter of the week. Since I still havent gotten past writing chapter 11, it seems that i'll just have to start reading other stories for some motivation. Some of the best motivation is from other writers, and honestly its difficult to write without a motivation. Anyway I hope you can read and review this one. Thanks alot for sticking by and i'll see you tomorrow.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fic**_

_**Chapter Seven: Feel the Change**_

I don't really know what the point of having those two girls yell at me was. Maybe it's because Emma was kinda sad about the whole JT thing and she knew I was there. Maybe she was worried about how Darcy was. Thing is, they tried to embarrass me and ruin my day, but they didn't. There's no way I was gonna let them do that.

I started to remember about what Hatzo said...the conditions she gave me. I had to apologize to Simpson, Peter, and anyone else affected. The bell rang and that's when I remembered. People were leaving and I just stood there with Lucas.

"C'mon man, let's get out of here." He said.

"Go ahead without me, I gotta do something real quick." I replied. Lucas shrugged and made his way out. Mr. Simpson started getting himself and his work ready for his next class. He went from computer to computer, closing the messages or something, so I followed him.

"Shouldn't you be off to class, Johnny?" He asked.

"Well actually I wanted to uh...talk to you about something." He was a little surprised, so he stopped what he doing and looked up at me.

"What's up?"

"I know I've been like...a bad kid or whatever, and I guess I'm trying to change. So I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you." I said. I did have problems saying this, and he could tell but he grinned anyway.

"It's fine. I believe in change, and it means a lot that you apologized. Thanks."

"And I'm gonna try to not be such a dick...sorry, I mean not to be such a jerk to you."

"Remember, it's not just me you should worry about. It's everyone else too."

"I know. I'm trying to change, but it's really difficult."

"I know it is, but that's change." He patted me on the shoulder. "As long as you stay true to what you want to do, you'll change to what you want in no time. You should get over to class before you're late."

I ran out of the class. Luckily for me, my next class wasn't too far away. If you're wondering, I made it in literally a second before the bell rang. Maybe it'll be good after all.

My day from then went pretty smoothly. I said sorry to all of my teachers...it sucked but hey, I've gotta take care of business. The only highlight of my day that came apart from that morning argument was when I saw Darcy.

I was on my way to lunch. Lucas went off to get Mia but I wasn't going to wait so I just started walking over. Then out of nowhere I can't see and turns out it's someone's hands over my eyes. I turned around and found myself kissing this very very hot brunette. I was so relieved when we pulled away and I saw that it was Darcy.

"Darcy!" I said. Of course I was excited to see her.

"And when were you planning to tell me that she let you back in, mister?"

"Crap, I'm really sorry. I, just you know...wanted to surprise you I guess."

"Don't worry about it; I'm just glad you're here." She said. That felt good.

Until Peter walked by us.

"Hey Darce." He said.

"Hi Peter." She replied. He glanced at me and walked away. I don't care what I have to do....I hate that kid.

She must have noticed that I looked back at him with hatred. It's BS how I had to actually apologize to this kid.

"Don't worry about it. He's fine." She told me.

"If he tries anything..."

"He won't. Besides, I don't want you to do anything stupid. If you get kicked out again she probably won't let you in."

"Don't worry about that. As long as he's nice, I guess I'll be nice."

"Good boy."

"Did I ever thank you? If it weren't for you I wouldn't even be here. Thanks, you're the best."

"I know." She said with a smile. We kissed again. I like that.

Then we started walking over to lunch and Jane showed up so they talked about stuff for a while. I don't think she's a big fan of me...she used to like me back in Lakehurst but not anymore, I guess. Me and her boyfriend Spinner aren't on the greatest terms if you didn't know already.

We kinda separated during lunch. I don't think she minded because she had her friends, but I didn't mind either because of mine. It was like none of us were gone. We sat on top of the tables as usual, but then I saw Mr. Simpson come in for a bit. I don't think we made eye contact, but something told me to get off of the table. So I sat down.

"Wow, you're really changing aren't you Johnny?" Lucas asked.

"I gotta, man." I said. I wasn't going to change like other people do, because they change differently. They end up not wanting to be friends with their old friends and hang with a new crew. But that wasn't me. I don't think it is anyway.

School started off rocky but in the end it wasn't bad. I had apologized to most of the people and Mr. Simpson. Only thing left was Peter. Two down, one to go. Great.


	8. Chapter 8

Almost forgot about posting today but I did since it's the last day of the posting week for me. For the rest of the week i will read other stories, review them, and hopefully get working on my own. Here is chapter 8. Thanks for everything and I hope you can review and enjoy! Take it easy!

Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction

Chapter 8: Once a Dog..

Alright, alright...so I didn't say sorry to Peter that day. But hey, Hatzo never told me when I had to say sorry, right? I mean, I'll do it, but maybe not now. It won't take me a long time like it did Darcy with her rape, but I'll just have to change some more I guess.

One thing that didn't change though, was detention. We were in there like usual...throwing paper balls and airplanes and just relaxing. The teacher in there was someone that I didn't see before so he was new. Well, whoever he was, he didn't give a damn since he sat there playing a PSP. The paper planes and spitballs flew all around him.

"Hey, I don't care if you throw that stuff but make sure they don't hit me." He said. His head was down at his video game the whole time and he shortly sucked his teeth at it.

"And don't forget to clean it up when you're done." Yeah right.

The usual people were in there. It was almost like they were getting the same punishment that me and my buddies were getting. Me, Lucas and the rest were just sitting on the desks and throwing paper around. You know what the scary part was? I actually was thinking of picking them up later on. No way am I doing that.

"Alright, four o' clock. Get outta here." The teacher said. Some of us actually sighed that we had to leave because it was so fun, but we left. He didn't even make us clean up the paper so sadly for the janitor he had his work set for him. As me and the gang were walking out, I looked over to the side and I saw a girl coming out of a room. There were like 15 kids coming out of the room too, so I guess it was from some club, but I didn't care. My focus was on the girl.

Lucas looked over too. "Looks like the nerd club's letting out early today."

"I guess they gotta get home before they miss their Star Trek or something." I said.

Lucas and the rest laughed, and he put his arm around me. "Same old Johnny!"

But I kept looking at the girl. There was something about her. She was just standing there now, reading some bulletin board. The guys started to notice now.

"No way, dude." Lucas said. "There's no way you're eyeing Liberty Van Zandt."

It wasn't that I was eyeing her like a pervert, but I was just...I guess you can say I was remembering her. I haven't forgotten when JT got stabbed and turning around and seeing her come over. And I haven't forgotten being a block away and hearing her scream like that. The only time I'd heard someone scream like that was my mom. I haven't said a single word to her since then, not even saying sorry or explaining the situation to her.

Then I realized that's one of the things that I have to do. If I really am a changed guy, it should be one of the first things I do. I guess I'll have to work on it.

"Snap out of it! That's gross man...you have Darcy for God's sake." Lucas said.

"No, no. I'm not..." I started to say, then Liberty started walking over to us. She got closer and didn't make eye contact to me individually, but she did for a split second. Lucas and the guys were snickering and stuff but I wasn't paying attention.

She got closer and was about to walk past us until I said it. "Liberty...hi."

She ignored me and just kept walking out. The guys started laughing and everything. Me? I just stood there like a jackass. Even though I have a girlfriend and I'm not interested in Liberty in the way they're thinking, I was so embarrassed. I get rejected by girls all the time, but this is the one that got to me.

"Ignored by Liberty Van Zandt? What the hell's happening to you?" Lucas said, laughing.

"Let's just get the hell out of here please..." I said and we started leaving. Wow, that sucked.

So with that ending my first day back, I can say that it was an on-off day. I guess that's how it's gonna be for a while until I get used to it. Change is difficult, but it's something that I gotta do. It starts with Mr. Simpson and it ends with Liberty. Or Peter.

We were walking over to the pizza shop because quite frankly, all that paper throwing makes a guy hungry. We were a few blocks away until we saw this smoking hot woman come out of some clothing store. We all said 'oooh' at the woman. Seriously, she was incredibly hot. Sorry Darcy.

"Holy crap, look at that fox." Lucas said.

"It's women like that which make me totally forget about Darcy." I replied. The woman made her way over into the passenger's seat of a car.

"I wonder who the lucky bastard is that gets to take that home."

Then a middle aged man came out of the store with some bags. There was silence amongst us. The guys didn't know, but I'm sure Lucas knew and I definitely knew. The man was my father.

"Such a beautiful woman with that? What a shame." Lucas said.

My eyes were following my dad like a hawk. I watched him open the back seat door and put the bags in, I watched him close it, I watched him go over to the driver's seat and go in. And I watched him lean over and kiss the woman. As soon as their lips touched I literally felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. Then the car drove off. There was only one thing I could say.

"C'mon, let's get pizza."

I always had a feeling that my dad would cheat on my mom, but I never like, saw it up close like that. So now i've got a dad that abuses my mom, rapes my mom, and now cheats on her. Here he is folks, your father of the year.


	9. Chapter 9

Once again I'm back after another long hiatus! I had a random inspiration to finish the 15th chapter and I did, so here's the 9th. Sorry to everyone who's actually reading and stuff, but I wanna finish this before I get busy in late August. Thanks for reading, and please, feedback!

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Nine: You, and the Chair..**_

I don't know why, but I've always found it hard to talk to Darcy about these things. I know I shouldn't because she's just so understanding and cool about things, but I just find it difficult. I don't talk to alot of people, if anyone about personal stuff like my parents or anything. Not even Lucas knows about it. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and we guys don't like...reveal things like that. Guys like me don't get sappy and emotional. Guys like Peter on the other hand are different. They're the pretty boys that cry when their girl leaves him and talk about their emotions like sissies. I mean, did you see when Darcy rejected Peter? He cried like a baby. What a pansy.

But I guess talking to people about things is something that I'm gonna have to start doing since I'm gonna have to see Ms. Sauvé soon. That really sucks because I hate guidance counselors and I don't even like talking to people about personal stuff as I said before. Thankfully enough it's only like once a week so I guess I can just lie about what I did in the week or something. It's not like Sauvé has to know everything that's going on in my life. But that's Friday, so...I'll worry about it then.

Then all of a sudden, it's Friday already. Great.

The week at school has gone by normally. I said sorry to a couple more people...not Peter though, not yet. I think people were starting to get used to the new me. I tried talking to Liberty all week but she won't even look at me now...I guess I understand, but I would think she would have moved on from what happened. Besides it wasn't really my fault anyway.

Today is the day to see Ms. Sauvé. I just look like an idiot sitting here outside her office waiting to go in. It's kind of embarrassing seeing some Lakehurst kids walk past me and snicker about it, but I guess i gotta get used to that too. What am I gonna talk to her about? Maybe not my life at home...but maybe something else like how school is going. Or maybe I can talk to her about my goal of changing. Or maybe even Darcy. That sounds good. I've only gotta be in there for like 45 minutes right? It can't be too bad.

Then after a while the door opened and guess who, Darcy walked out. She was saying goodbye and then I got up. She gave me a kiss. I like that.

"So, is it bad in there?" I asked.

"Nah. I told her what happened to me though."

"Oh. How'd that go?"

"Alright, I guess. A lot less tears this time. I'm proud of myself!"

"Good girl."

"Well good luck in there. It's really not as bad as you think." Yeah, right. That's what nurses say right before a physical. Then comes the needle. Ms. Sauvé's the needle.

I kissed her again before going into the office. I found a smiling woman sitting behind her desk...I had seen her before but I didn't exactly know who she was. I closed the door behind me and awkwardly made my way to the chair across from the desk. It was even more weird as it sounded, trust me.

"You must be Johnny DiMarco. Nice to meet you, I'm Ms. Sauvé."

"Yeah, hey."

"Ms. Hatzilakos wanted to make sure you see me once a week for a while to check up on you, see what you're doing and make sure it's not the wrong thing."

"I know why I'm here." I knew why, and I didn't wanna be there at all.

"Good. Well then, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I don't know. I thought you'd have something in mind."

"Whatever you wanna talk about." If this is how it's going to go then this will be boring as hell.

"Oh. Well, can I go now?"

"Why? What's the rush?"

"I don't really like all of this. You know, the guidance councilors, the psychologists. It's just really lame."

"Why do you think that? You know we just wanna help." She had a cheezy smile on her face.

"I know, but it's just not for me. I'm not a sissy guy who tells the world my feelings. I'm trying to change and everything, but I'll never be a sissy."

"What's that you say about change? What are you trying to change?"

"Basically I'm trying not to be such a jacka...sorry, such a jerk to other people and stuff."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I wanna stay in school and graduate so that my mom can be proud of me. And because of Darcy, too. She doesn't deserve someone who's gonna be a jerk all the time, so."

"That's really nice of you. Darcy told me about you. I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but she really likes you."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna screw this one up." And I meant that.

So pretty much, that's how the rest of the session went. We started talking about little stuff like classes and I'd tell her I hate them and she'd just ask why over and over. It got annoying as hell and I was glad to get out.

When I came out, I saw Darcy waiting for me. Wow, I guess Sauvé was right. She really does like me.

"How'd it go?" She asked.

"Yeah, fine." I said. I hated it, to be honest, and I wasn't looking forward to going back. I don't know how she does it. Maybe it's because she's a girl.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the late update, but I got some late-night writing done where I have completed chapter 16 (I think it was). From this point is where the story gets interesting because you get to explore a part of Johnny's mind that you probably have never really seen before. I'm working on some cool ideas to keep the story interesting and fresh. Thank you for reading, and please, if you liked it, leave a kind review! Please tell your friends! Thanks a lot, take it easy, and enjoy!

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Ten: The Immaculate Consideration**_

So we walked around the building for a while since the bell didn't ring...that meant we had some time. Then, Darcy asked me a rather difficult question.

"Hey babe, what are you doing this weekend?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Wanna go to church with me on Sunday?"

Church? Really? Church? I've never been to Church a day in my life. The only time I've been inside one was for some lame wedding and that's about it. I never went to church when I was a child because my dad would get pissed off about us leaving so early in the morning. He thought the morning was 'time for cheating' for some reason since that's when people worked. Makes a lot of sense, right? What a douchebag...

I don't even know if I believe the same things that she does. She believes that there's a like..superhuman force called God who's got all this power and knows everything. She believes he randomly had a son called Jesus and had him die to save people from their sins. I'm sorry, but none of that makes sense to me. I hate religion because it ruins people's lives, but also on the other hand it doesn't make much sense to me.

People say that God is loving, and he helps you out and stuff...I don't even think that's true. Why? Because look at my life. Look at other people's lives. You've got people dying on the street, people with no home and they're the ones who turn to this God guy every day. I never got why. If He is even existent, then where the hell was he to help me out? Couldn't he have 'stricken my dad down' from hitting my mother? Couldn't he have made my mom find him cheating on her or even file for divorce? I guess not. Look, I'm not going to tell you that he doesn't exist because I don't know, but I just don't think he does.

Of course, I didn't say this to her. I said something similar to it, actually.

"Eh, not really."

"Oh? Why not? You busy already?"

I'm sorry, but I wasn't about to lie to my girlfriend. Lying is what screws people up in relationships.

"I just...Darcy, I don't believe what you believe." I thought she'd like break up with me or something, but she kinda smiled and was cool about it. The odd thing is she usually likes to preach to people about religion, but she didn't with me. I like that.

"Well, why not? How do you think we were made?"

"I don't know how, and nobody else does either. If there is a God, then well, he's a jerk because he hasn't been around for me or anyone else."

"You just gotta believe."

"It's hard to believe in something you don't even think is real."

She started to look a little sad. Damnit, I knew I screwed things up...

"I'm really sorry, Darcy. I just don't."

"It's okay, babe. Will you go with me anyway?" What? She still wanted me to go after I had just denounced everything she believed in?

"Uh...sure, I'll go." This girl is lucky I like her.

"Have you ever been to church before?"

"No."

"Good, then maybe this will be an eye opening experience for you. I just wanna show you that there is a God, and he exists. He's everywhere. Maybe you'll feel that in church."

I'm gonna need a whole lotta' believing to feel that. Something miraculous would have to happen, I swear.

"Alright, I'll try I guess." She smiled and we started kissing for a while. Then suddenly we heard someone clear their throat, and when we pulled away we saw it was Ms Hatzilakos.

She was grinning for some reason. "So Johnny, I can see that's the reason why you wanted to come back here." It was a joke, but I let out one of those half assed smiles and uncomfortable chuckles.

"You don't have to worry, Ms. Hatzilakos. Johnny's gonna be a good boy." Darcy said.

"Well that's good to hear, but just none of that PDA anymore. Oh yes, Johnny...I heard you apologized to a lot of teachers. When they told me I was very impressed."

"Yeah, well...I told you I was trying to change." I said.

"And I'm glad I can see that. Listen you two take it easy...on the kissing, of course." She said, smiling and walking away. Boy, that was weird.

We walked along in the hallway until I heard a familiar voice talking somewhere. I turned to see who it was and it was Liberty. Kinda rude though, because Darcy was talking to me about something. When she looked up at me and saw where I was looking, she looked in the same direction and sighed.

"Which one? Liberty? Are you serious?"

"It's not what you think...I'm not like..._looking _at her. I'm just...looking at her."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't."

"I'm sorry. So, what were you saying?"

And on she continued, talking. I really didn't know what the hell she was going on about because I kept tuning out. I was thinking about Liberty...I just had to explain to her what happened. Then I looked up and saw that Liberty had walked past me now.

"Liberty!" I shouted. Darcy was in the middle of a sentence and I had again, like an idiot, interrupted her. If it makes you feel better, Liberty ignored me again.

Darcy didn't look happy. Remember that 'rent money' look I was talking about earlier? Well, that's the look she gave me.

"What was that all about?" She asked.

"Nothing..."

"I'm not stupid. I know you like her or whatever."

"Don't say that..."

"Can I trust you? Like really, can I trust you? Because if you're gonna go and cheat on me with that, then..."

"You can trust me. I promise you I don't like her. I just have to tell her something."

"Yeah really? What?" Damnit, I didn't wanna tell anyone about this. But I guess I do now.

Then the bell rang and we kissed and went on our way. Saved by the bell would be an understatement. Hm, maybe that was God trying to help me out for once? I guess I'll never know.


	11. Chapter 11

Here I am with another chapter, and you're actually due two of them, the other which will be posted tomorrow. Since I accidently combined two ideas I had into one chapter, I'm now trying to dig myself out of that hole. Don't worry, I'll come up with something really interesting as time goes on. Anyway we find out how nice a guy Johnny's dad is, and some other things. Thanks goes out to anyone who has read this story thus far and is continuing to stick with the story. It gets better from here! Enjoy! Please comment! Thank you and take it easy.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Eleven: Blowing Minds Out in a Car**_

When I came home from school that afternoon I felt relieved. I was relieved that I got through with my first week back. It kind of felt like that first week of school when you start a new grade. Nothing had really changed too much, but I sure was trying to. I still am. I got a long way to go, but at least I made it this far. One step at a time, Johnny.

Dad was in a good mood that night. I don't think he was drunk because I didn't smell anything on him, and I guess I wasn't too close enough to smell if he had been smoking any funny cigarettes. But for whatever reason he was in a good mood. He watched an old CFL game and even ordered us some pizza. Mom was surprised, but she wasn't buying it. She seemed kind of skeptical.

It wasn't too long before I knew why she was like that. We were all on the couch watching that game and the bell rang. Mom answered it and it was the pizza boy.

"Oh good, pizza's here. I'm sure gonna need it after watching this debacle...ay Johnny boy?" He said. His team was losing but this game was from like, a week ago.

I heard a soft boom noise and looked over at the door and it was the sound of two bottled sodas hitting the floor. He got pizza and a couple of sodas. It was like our own little party or something. Sweet.

"That's 20 bucks." The pizza boy told mom.

She looked back at dad. "You hear, Jay? 20."

Dad glanced over at her and back to the TV. He did a shooing motion with his hand, like he was telling his servant to go away.

"You got me on this, right?" He asked. I guess nothing had really changed. He really expected my mom to waste 20 bucks on pizza and soda? Don't get me wrong here, I did want the pizza, but for him to put on this nice guy act and then make her pay for it?

It was a jerk move. He left all the work for his woman. That's exactly what he told me to do. That's what he taught me. I guess the fact that I'm getting mad about it says something about me changing.

My mom is strong, but she couldn't risk getting hit in front of someone and getting embarrassed like that. So she paid for it.

"Love ya, babe." He said to her. After she slammed the door in the delivery boy's face after he asked for a tip, she walked over to the sofa and dropped the box on the table. Dad gave her a dirty look but mom just went into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I felt so bad. It's times like these that I wish I was still doing bad stuff, because at least then I would have some money. I would have paid for the pizza and not even have let that dumb idiot have any of it. I looked at him in anger for a while but of course he didn't notice. He only had one thing to say to me.

"Alright Johnny, let's get those sodas because these idiots are playing like a bunch of women!"

I took that a number of ways. I looked at the score, 35-7, and I could see why he said the losing team was playing like women. It was probably because they were getting their asses beaten. The way it should be, he claims.

As if the night couldn't be any worse, after I had enough of football and was ready for bed, I went into my room and looked on the floor and saw 20 dollars under a shoe.

Of course my Saturday morning starts out lame. I thought I would get a well deserved rest since all that apologizing and changing can make a guy tired. I thought wrong because it felt like I've been sleeping for only 10 minutes when I heard the buzzing of my cell phone. I picked it up and slammed it down, hoping that would make it stop. Wow, it actually did...but a minute later it started buzzing again. Okay, I'm about to unload on whoever this is. I picked it up without looking since my eyes were closed the whole time.

"What the hell do you want?" I said. It could have been my grandmother or something so I probably shouldn't have said that, but honestly I didn't really care. You don't ever disturb Johnny DiMarco's sleep.

"Dude, where are you?" The voice said. It sounded like Lucas.

"What kind of question is that? I'm in bed sleeping."

"Well you better wake up and get your ass down here."

"What are you talking about? Down where?" He must be stupid if he thought I was going anywhere then.

"You forgot, didn't you? I'm at school!" As soon as he said that I sat up from my bed as if I were rising from the grave.

We said at the same time, "Saturday detention!"

Holy crap...how could I have forgotten? Lucas was saying something else but I hung up so I could check the time. It was 9:40 and it started officially at like 10. We would always get there like 20 minutes early so we could buy some chips or something, but we would also throw paper balls at everyone else as they walked in. It's really fun.

After my shower and everything I put my clothes on and it was 9:50, which was good, but I still had to take the walk to school. When I walked out of my room to leave I saw my mom in the living room reading a magazine. She said something that I didn't pay attention to, but said something that fully got my attention.

"Need a lift?"

Thank God. We made our way downstairs into the car. Driving to Degrassi only took around 5 minutes. Traffic was never bad, but then again I wouldn't know because I usually walk to school. We turned a corner and we were going straight when a car nearly hit us coming from the left. Mom slammed the breaks and gasped as we propelled forward. We weren't hurt as the car didn't hit us. What an idiot.

Mom rolled down the window to cuss the driver out but for whatever reason she instead went outside of the car. Looks like mom's getting ready to lay the smackdown on whomever almost killed us. A girl came out of the car, looking very worried.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." The girl said.

"Are you kidding me? Are you colorblind or something? You ran a red light and almost killed me and my son!"

"I'm so sorry!"

"What's the matter with you? You're making us late!"

I leaned back and forward to get a good view of the girl and I couldn't believe who it was. It was Liberty. As soon as I saw, I went out of the car and over to them.

"I should call the cops on you right now. I'm sure a nice little fine will get your attention."

"Mom, hold on. I know her." I said. She didn't look too happy to see me, but it was the best thing she had then.

"You know this idiot?"

"Liberty, I'm running late for detention. I need to be at school in 5 minutes."

"It's okay Johnny. Just let me call the police and then we'll be on our way." Mom said.

"No wait!" Liberty said. "Maybe...maybe I can drive him to school!"

Seriously? Eh, what the hell. I went with it. "Yeah mom, let her drive me and you can go home. No need to call the cops."

"Yeah he's right. Consider this my apology for almost hitting you."

My mom alternated looking at the both of us. "Fine. You're lucky you know this girl or else she'd be locked up. Okay, try to get there safely please." She said. I went in Liberty's car and she went in hers, and we drove off to school.

I couldn't believe Liberty was driving me. Is this a sign from God or something? Maybe He wants me to apologize for everything right now. Whatever it is I really need to seize this opportunity. It probably wont ever come again.

"So Liberty..."

"Don't even try to make discussion with me." Damn, she shot me down that quickly? This won't be easy at all.

"Whats wro-"

"And by the way," she started. "I don't think you should be back either." Me being in Degrassi was something that was clearly pissing her off. The tone in her voice was scary.

"Join the club.."

"If you weren't with Darcy you'd probably be in jail."

"Liberty, I'm trying to change.."

"Yeah right. That's what Rick said before he shot up the school. That's what they all say."

"But I really-"

"And I'll never forgive you for what you did. You didn't do it but you were there. And you did nothing. You're a worthless piece of scum. If I didn't want a ticket on my record then I wouldn't even have you near my car."

And I thought Manny and Emma were trying my patience. Here I am trying to show miss goody two-shoes that I'm trying to change and she won't even let me finish anything I'm trying to say. If it's anyone who's scum right now, it's HER, not me! I'm trying to apologize and make it all better and she's just telling me off.

Hold on. She's telling me off. Oh, I get it now! I had better let her tell me off because then all of her anger and emotions will be let out and she'll feel better. So actually by not saying anything I'm doing her a favor because she has all that built up energy and stuff. But crap, man, why do I have to lay down like a dog? Johnny DiMarco never quits! He never lays down for anyone!

But then the car stopped and I realized we were at the school. I knew I was probably already late, and looking out the window I saw Hatzo walking towards the school. She glanced at the car and saw me, and then looked again. Damn! I've been spotted.

She walked over to the car and even though I didn't wanna roll the window down, the window started coming down. I guess Liberty rolled them down or something.

"Good morning Johnny, Good morning Liberty." She said. I gave her a cheap smile.

"Good morning Ms. Hatzilakos." Liberty said. It's disgusting at how polite and nice and kiss-assy she has to be all the time. I'm changing, but not into that.

She checked her watch. "It's 10:07, Johnny. You're late." Damn, I thought. So much for going to Degrassi..

"Ms. Hatzilakos," Liberty started to say. What's she up to now? She's probably gonna complement her on her hair or something. "It's totally my fault. Please don't get him in trouble."

What? I couldn't believe my ears. She was actually covering for me?

"I'm sorry." Liberty said. This is too good to be true.

"Well," Hatzo started to say. "There must be a good reason if you're driving Johnny DiMarco to school. Alright I'll let it slide. Lets go Johnny, we've got an hour of heaven awaiting."

I looked over at Liberty and she put a mean face on so I just nodded instead of saying thanks. I left the car and started to walk inside.

How could she cover for me? I thought she didn't want me to go to Degrassi? What came over her?

Whatever it was, I'm pretty sure she'll act as this never happened. Because I probably will too.


	12. Chapter 12

These next few chapters were fun to write and I think that becomes obvious as you read it. There's tons of hidden gems in this in terms of symbolism and stuff, but personally I think it's a pretty solid chapter. We explore religion through Johnny's eyes, in a way we've never seen before. Anyway, thanks for reading, please drop a review and I'll see you tomorrow with the next chapter. Enjoy! Thanks!

Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction

_**Chapter Twelve: Hallelujah **_

Detention was boring because Hatzo was the one who watched us, and she watched us like a hawk. Lucas tried to secretly ball up a piece of paper but it wasn't quiet enough and she caught him. Had she been in a crap mood he would've been there for a couple more hours, but instead she just gave him that look. You know, that look the principal gives you when you're doing something that you're not supposed to be doing. I always get that look.

She didn't even let us talk or anything. We just sat there looking at things for an hour. I put my head down and tried to get back to my morning sleep but Lucas and the rest of the guys kept poking me and stuff to wake me up. I was gonna punch Lucas in the arm but I didn't wanna risk having more time.

The good thing was that I did get some thinking done. I thought more about why Liberty was so nice to me. Well, she wasn't exactly nice, but she did bail me out from being late and being in trouble. Then I thought about how upset she was at me in the car. I was close to apologizing but honestly I was losing my patience because, well, I guess she was telling the truth. Maybe I am a piece of scum, but at least I'm making a damn effort not to be one. This changing crap is harder than I thought.

Suddenly I felt the desk move and I kind of jumped. I didn't realize that I was sitting with my head resting in my hand on the desk so the sudden movement of the desk dropped my head from my hand. When I looked up, I realized it was Lucas who did that and everyone was leaving. When we started to leave out, Hatzo kind of smiled at me. Majorly weird.

The rest of the day was history. I hung out with the guys and we caused mischief, but then we didn't because of the 'new' Johnny. I tried hard not to be such a downer for them, but I guess they understood. For once, I made them leave the little kid that we usually bother alone, and made them put back some hat that they were gonna steal. A year ago if I were to see myself acting this way, I'd probably wanna kick my own ass. I kind of wanna do that now, honestly. But it might all be worth it in the end.

Sunday morning came and I remembered I told Darcy I'd go to church with her. I didn't really do any thinking about God or anything since last week so I don't think I was fully mentally prepared for that. But I did promise myself that I wouldn't mess up this thing I've got going with Darcy so I made sure I woke up early to go. I didn't really know what I should wear so I just had on my usual black hoody with my skully and black pants. They look kind of like funeral clothes but I figured that would be alright since church is about celebrating the death of Jesus and him going up to heaven and stuff. Celebrating death is kind of like a funeral, I guess.

I wish we would have gone together instead of having to meet because I felt like a geek standing in front of the church waiting. There are tons of people going in so I'm just standing at the side of the door, taking quick glances of people to make sure Darcy didn't pass me. I was a little embarrassed standing there like that, so I pulled my hat down and looked away, kind of like in class when I don't wanna get called on. Darcy didn't take too long to come and when she finally showed up I was relieved...but not for long because there was someone with her.

It's Peter.

I suddenly felt extremely pissed off to see him there...especially him walking my girlfriend to church. And especially after I'd been standing there waiting, looking like an idiot. The last thing I need to see is that blonde haired little bas-c'mon Johnny, relax. This is the new you, Johnny. Just relax. At least she's here, remember that. At least she's here.

Darcy saw me and Peter didn't look too glad to see me either. They walked over and Darcy gave me a little kiss. After the kiss I flashed a quick little snobby smile at Peter, who just looked away.

I asked her, "You two walked here together?"

"Well sort of." Darcy started to reply. "I was already halfway here and I saw Peter and we pretty much walked here from there."

"Cool." I said. It wasn't cool at all, because I'm pretty sure that Peter wasn't even gonna go to church. He just went because he saw Darcy, and he's trying to get her back. That guy is nuts if he thinks that's gonna work.

"Lets go in before the service starts." Darcy said. We started walking in until she put an arm in front of my way, like she was blocking me from going in.

"Uh.." I said.

"Take your hat off before you get in."

I was really, really hoping that I wouldn't have to take my hat off. First of all, I love my hat. It keeps me warm and I look damn good in it. Second of all, being in church is not particularly a place that I want to be seen in, so taking my hat off wouldn't help at all with that. Well, actually when I think about it...it wouldn't be too bad if I took my hat off because I wear it all the time anyway, so maybe taking it off would actually make me less recognizable! Fine, I'll do it.

I took it off and she smiled. We walked inside and there were loads of people all sitting down and talking on the long wooden seats. In the front was this huge altar with a cross on it, and it was below a giant statue thing of Jesus on the cross that was on the wall. It looked pretty cool. In front of the altar was a podium, and a little off to the side of the podium were 4 chairs. 3 of them were regular padded chairs, while the 1st one looked like a huge throne. To the side of the stage thing was the choir dressed in purple, and next to them a door. Everyone was talking and looking like they were having a good time. I wish the service could be like that.

I wanted to sit in the back in the corner, but Darcy likes to sit somewhere near the front. Sadly enough there were no more spaces in the area she likes, so we had to sit in the very first row. Perfect. Darcy and Peter were talking and I just sat there and kind of sunk down and closed my eyes. I covered my face with my hat like I was walking through a yard of dead corpses or something. I was bored and I felt like a loner to be honest, and I was getting tired of hearing Darcy and Peter talk. I mean, they sound like a couple of girls gossiping in the bathroom.

Then suddenly it got quiet and Darce and Peter stopped talking...thank God. I lifted my head up and saw that there were several old men coming out of the door next to the choir in white robes. They all had these long purple sashes around their shoulders. They were obviously the priests. The choir started singing this opera song thing as all 4 of them came out of the door. Everyone in the church stood up, so I did too because clearly its what you're supposed to do. The priests made their way up to the stage and faced the crucifix, bowed to it, and then walked over to the altar and knelt down and kissed it. Then they made their way over to their chairs and stood over them, and the guy who was standing over the throne came up to the podium. He swayed back and forth to the choir's music and waited for them to stop. When they stopped, he waved his hand at the crowd.

"The Lord be with you." The priest said.

"And also with you." The people said in response. It kind of surprised me because I was actually going to say something like 'thank you' in response. Pretty dorky eh?

The rest of the service was pretty much like a Q&A session. Call and response. On top of that, there was alot of standing and sitting that quite frankly got annoying after a while. It was honestly pretty boring. They had a part called communion where you would go up to one of the priests and eat this round shaped thing. I think it was a cracker or something. Some people who went up put their arms in an A across their chest and they didn't get the cracker. Instead the priest did the sign of the cross. I didn't really wanna go up, so I was relieved when Darcy said I didn't have to because I wasn't Catholic...yet.

Then around 15 minutes after that the priest said what he had to.

"May God bless you in the name of the father, and to the son, and of the holy spirit."

The crowd said amen. I joined in this time.

"The mass has ended, go in the peace of the Lord." The priest said. The crowd said 'thanks be to God', then the priest started talking. "Also, if anyone here would like to go into confession, myself and the other priests will be in the rooms to hear it."

Darcy said it was a good idea. Which meant that I probably would have to go too.


	13. Chapter 13

This marks the chapter that I started writing recently, so it's kind of where I picked up from the last chapter since there was a rather long gap between the writing of those previous chapters. As you'll notice, the chapters become longer and more in-depth because my writing last year has matured to the writing this year. Anyway, here's the chapter in which a senario that you've been thinking of happens, so I'm not going to spoil too much. Thanks for reading, please drop a review and don't forget to pass this story along. Thanks a lot, enjoy, and i'll see you tomorrow with a new chapter.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Thirteen: He Who Tries..**_

So after the priests left everyone started talking and hanging around again just like from before the service started. Some people started leaving, and as time went on more and more people left. Peter and Darcy were talking about something until Darcy got my attention.

"I think confession is a good idea since we're all here." She said. I knew she'd say it, just didn't know when.

"Great idea, Darcy!" Peter said. He said it like she was some little kid or something. He's a tool, seriously.

"What do you think, Johnny?" Darcy asked.

"Sure, whatever."

"Good. Confession gives you a chance to admit your sins and repent and the priest can give you a blessing." Darcy said. Thanks, I kind of assumed it was that anyway.

Maybe confession is a good idea. Maybe I could tell the priest about how I'm trying to change and everything and maybe he'll say a blessing that could help me. Who knows?

"You wanna go first, Darce?" Peter asked.

"Yeah that sounds good. I'll be right back." She said. And then she went off to the confession room.

Great. So now I'm stuck here with Peter. Even after the service I hate 'em still, and I don't honestly see me liking him anytime soon. But I guess I'm gonna have to if I'm gonna apologize to him. We just sat there. I leaned forward with my arms in my lap and my head in my hands and I was looking down. From the corner of my eye I caught him with a couple of quick glances my way. I don't know if I should apologize now or later. I don't even think it was easy for him either. After all, I did steal his dream girl away from him.

I was surprised when he broke the silence. "So...how's life?"

"Fine, I guess."

"I heard you're trying to change. Like, be a different person."

"Right, right." I replied. I really wasn't interested in conversation as you may see.

Then there was this awkward silence. I think this might be err...God's way of saying that I should try saying sorry. But I don't know. Is this even the right time? Or place? I don't even know what I should do now honestly. I guess I'll just sit here and wait.

In a couple of minutes Darcy got out. I was relieved because finally I could finally spend some alone time with my girlfriend.

"Well, that was relaxing. I feel kind of 'cleansed', if that makes sense. I don't know. I felt I really needed that." Darcy said.

"I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way!" Peter said. Again, what a tool.

"Yeah. So, you ready to go in next, Peter?" She asked.

"Um, I was thinking Johnny should give it a shot. Since, you know, we're pros at this and Johnny hasn't been in before, so why not?"

You have got to be kidding me. The last thing I'll ever do is dare to leave her alone with that snake. I mean, look at him, trying to pry her away from me like that. At this point my patience was running low and I tried my best to hide that. I gave Peter a rather menacing look and then I looked at Darcy, who gave me a look of approval. Like she was saying she'll be fine, and he won't try anything.

So finally, I gave in. "Fine."

I made my way over to a set of doors and I tried to open one but it was locked. There was a door next to that one that I managed to open, and I went right inside. I found myself inside of a small, dimly lit room with somewhat of a bench connected to the wall. I sat down and as I looked to my right, there was this big wooden screen which had a design on it but millions of holes. I saw a figure sitting in the same way. I guess that was the priest.

The situation was definitely awkward. The priest just sat there and cleared his throat a couple of times as if he was waiting for me to say something, but quite frankly I didn't know what the hell-er, heaven, to say. Luckily though, he was the bigger man and broke the silence. 0-2 in breaking the silence for me today.

"Have you sinned, my child?"

Not really knowing how to reply to that, "Ye-yes, sir. I have sinned."

"What is the extent of your sin?"

I really couldn't begin. I couldn't really put a finger on where I should start and what I should tell him. Just look at my life. But I had to say something.

"Well, I'm the type of kid that doesn't do a whole lot of good. I steal from people, I bully people and I even pulled a knife on a kid. I've also been expelled from school."

"I see."

"But I'm really trying to go on the right path. I am just now realizing the bad I've done, and how bad it was, and I'm trying to be a better person for once. I'm trying to be nice to others and I even got accepted back into school. I'm trying to apologize to all who I have done wrong."

"That's good. Why have you done them wrong?"

"Well I used to treat my teachers like crap, so-"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I used to treat my teachers badly, so I did apologize to them. I said sorry to the principal for pulling the knife on a student who just happens to be her son. But I haven't apologized to her son yet, and I want to apologize to a girl named Liberty. A boyfriend of hers got stabbed and I saw it happen right in front of me and I didn't really...do anything to stop it. But I didn't know he'd pull out a knife. What was I to do?"

"Well then, why don't you apologize to her?"

"Because she keeps avoiding me and when I do track her down, she always tries to avoid the subject. Sure, I guess it's still sensitive for her but I'm trying my best to say sorry and move on. I'm tired of being associated with my attitude in the past. I'm trying to be better and move on."

"That's good, son."

"And I haven't said sorry to the principal's son because he's just a pain the the.."

"Careful..."

"Neck. It's difficult to get along with him because I think he's just a dirty rat who takes advantage of every girl he ever gets to meet. He ruins people's relationships and I don't even think he feels bad about it. He's out there right now talking to my girlfriend...about God knows what, and I'm afraid he's gonna try to make a move for her and get her back. I know I have to get closure with him, but it's really hard."

"I know it is. Have you ever asked for help?"

"Help? I don't know if I can ask anyone for help to just say sorry to these people. I mean, I think I just need to get the strength within myself to actually do it."

"Not help in the way you're thinking, but help from the Lord."

"You mean God?"

"I do."

"How can I ask God for help? When you have a life like mine, you aren't too sure about God. I mean, my childhood stunk, and now as a teenager I almost went to jail."

"But you didn't did you? Did you end up going to jail?"

"No, I didn't. Very luckily, too."

"You think it was luck that kept you from going to jail?"

"Well, the judge was pretty sympathetic towards me. I poured my heart out to 'em."

"No, no. It was God. He saw potential in you and decided to keep you out of jail. He still sees potential in you, I can tell. This is a second chance from God. He sent you away from jail so that you can reconstruct your life, as you're trying to do now, and put it on the right track. I know you don't think that God is there for you, but he really is, and he loves you."

Was it really God that helped me out? Thinking about it now, most judges aren't that sympathetic. The court system usually eats kids like me for breakfast and spits us out. And I don't know how I was even let back into school. I mean, I did present a danger to all those kids. School officials usually don't mess around with kids having weapons. Was it...God that helped all of this happen? I don't know. I'm kind of confused.

"He wants you to succeed. He wants nothing but the best for you because he sees you have the potential to be a person who looks out and cares for others and a person who is important to society. But you have to ask him for help if you're having difficulty. You can't expect to do all of this on your own." The priest said. Maybe I was putting too much a workload on my shoulders.

"But how do I ask him for help? Do I just say 'God can you help me?'"

The priest kind of chuckled, and then I heard a soft pressing noise. Like he was putting a book on his lap.

"I'm going to read you a passage from the Bible. This is from the Book of Matthew, verses 7 and 8. It says: 'Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, recieves; and the one who seeks, finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened.' Do you understand?"

I actually did. That passage made a lot of sense to me. "Wow, I do, but I still don't get exactly how I should ask."

"Through the best way: prayer. If you ask Him for help, He will provide it for you just as He did in the past. All you have to do is keep Him in your life. Embrace Him. Love Him. Trust Him."

Then after that the priest said a couple of prayer blessings, and said he will absolve me from my sins. I guess that means they've been forgiven. He wished me well and I did the same for him before stepping back out into the church. I walked back to Darcy and Peter and honestly, I felt great. It's kind of like that fresh feeling you get when you have just taken a great shower, or awoke from an awesome nap. I really felt great.

I sat back down next to them and noticed that Peter sighed, not really happy to see me return. Darcy smiled in excitement.

"So? How'd it go? How'd it feel?"

I felt great but I couldn't let them know of course. I'm still Johnny DiMarco here. I've got an image to keep. "It was fine."

"Was it? Do you feel relieved? Cleansed?"

"Yeah, I feel fine." I said. Darcy smiled and seemed as though she was really happy for me, while Peter rolled his eyes. Once a tool, always a tool..

"Hey I'm hungry. Why don't we all grab a bite to eat?" Peter recommended. The idiot didn't even go into confession yet. I bet he had a 'confession' with my girlfriend..

"Great idea!" Darcy said. The two stood up but I didn't. I didn't feel the urge to leave all of the sudden. "C'mon, Johnny! Johnny? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said. "Hey, why don't you guys go out to lunch. I think I'm gonna stay here for a while and just, you know...chill."

I think Darcy knew I was going to stay so that I can pray. She smiled as if she understood. "Okay Johnny. I'll call you later." Then the two left. I bet Peter was jumping for joy inside.

It was strange that I wanted to stay but also strange that I didn't feel I needed to go with them to make sure Peter didn't make a pass at my girl. I don't know, I guess I just didn't feel the need to at that time. I didn't care about much. I just couldn't get what that priest said to me out of my head. I wanted to ask God for help, and I felt I needed to.

I grabbed that little thing that's connected on the end of the bench in front of me, pulling it out and getting on my knees. I put my hands together. I was really going to pray.

I asked God for help and thanked him for everything he has done. It felt weird because I felt like some crazy person talking to myself. I wasn't really talking loudly; it was more of a whisper, but still. Then I said sorry to him and stuff. I don't know. It's kind of a sensitive thing for me to talk about right now so I'm not really into giving details on how I prayed, but I prayed, and in my book, that was good enough.

I finished and got up. I was hungry so I was going to get some chow. As I turned to leave, I saw Liberty leave a confession booth.

Wow. Thanks, God.


	14. Chapter 14

Just finished writing chapter 19 and the story gets much better as you go along. I'm excited to write the next couple and see what other ideas I can come up with. But this chapter is a rather emotional one, and we see Johnny open up in a way we'd never expect. Please drop a comment if you like, and thank you for reading. I'll be back on Monday (or maybe the weekend) with a new chapter. Thanks a lot, take it easy and enjoy.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Fourteen: Everybody Hurts..**_

Right after I asked for help and stuff, it came. Maybe there is a God after all. I had another chance right here, and I wasn't going to let it fly by me again.

Liberty walked over to a bench and kneeled down just as I did. I stood there, watching her pray. It was kind of a beautiful sight. I mean, she's praying and she has all this religious iconography surrounding her. It was pretty cool. She's a pretty girl too, but that's not what I meant. I kind of feel like a weird stalker just watching her like that. When she was done she sat back and looked straight ahead at the altar. So I figured that was a good time to make my move.

I casually walked over and sat right next to her. She didn't make eye contact with me. Quite frankly, I don't even think she cared that I was there.

"So...you come here too?" I asked. What a dumb question.

"Johnny, why do you have to bother me right now? Can't you see I'm trying to pray?"

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were done praying."

"What do you want anyway?"

"I just wanna talk to you, Liberty."

She finally made eye contact with me. "You wanna talk? You just watch me all the time and follow me like a weirdo! I bet you didn't wanna talk when..." Wow, that was a hostile approach. But she stopped herself because I guess she realized where she was and she didn't wanna insult whoever it was that she believed in.

"Liberty, that's not how-"

"Okay. You wanna talk? Fine. Let's go somewhere and talk." I couldn't believe it.

"You mean it, Liberty?"

"Yeah. Anywhere but here. I don't wanna end up burning in hell because I cursed you out in church." She said. Still feisty.

"Okay. I'll take you to lunch." Since I was hungry still. I wonder what came over her. I wonder what made her wanna give me a chance to talk. Maybe she did wanna curse me out.

Or maybe she went into confession with the same priest that I did.

We didn't do much talking walking over to the restraint. We were walking at a rather fast pace. It wasn't really that fast, but it wasn't slow, know what I mean? I think we were both hungry and we just wanted to get some food and do some talking. Or at least I did. But don't get me wrong, I kept in the back of my mind the scenario of Darcy and Peter all alone again. It makes me quiver, but I trust Darcy.

We got to a diner and just went in anyway because we were too hungry to continue walking. We sat down at a nice little booth as we looked over a menu.

"Get whatever you want, Liberty." I said. Liberty rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I was going to anyway. I have money. I can support myself." Touché.

We ordered our food and we just sat there in silence. I figured I should wait to say what I needed because she was clearly annoyed and hungry. Maybe she'd be in a better mood after she had a bite to eat. Quite frankly, me too. I was starving and I didn't wanna risk losing my patience with Liberty. I had already lost most of it with Peter's tool-ish ways of being alone with Darcy.

"What were you doing there anyway?" She asked me.

"Where?"

"Church.."

"Oh. Well, Darcy said I should go along with her so I did."

"I didn't see Darcy in there when I came."

"That's because she left."

"She left you at church? Hah, maybe you deserve to be stood up for once.."

"No, I told her to leave without me. I needed some extra time there."

"Look Johnny, let's stop with this routine. I know you've haven't changed. I know the type of person you are, and I've been dealing with that type ever since Lakehurst came into Degrassi. You're just acting this way so that you can get back into school, and also win over everyone thinking you've actually changed. But I know the kind of person you are. Your type will never change."

"Liberty, that's a bunch of BS and you know it."

"No, what is a bunch of BS is that you're back in school. Wait, no, not even that...it's that you're still walking around here. You should be locked up in a cell with a bunch of impatient inmates!"

"You're probably right, but I'm not. Why? Because even the judge thinks I can change, and that's what I've been trying to do. Besides, all I did was take a knife out and steal office materials from a store. They'd be stupid to take me in for that."

"I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about.."

"What?"

"Nevermind, forget it."

"You're talking about JT aren't you?"

"I said nevermind."

"Liberty, look. I am sorry for that! How was I supposed to know he'd pull out a knife over a dumb joke?"

"You knew him! He was your friend! You knew his temper!"

"But I didn't think he'd get that angry over that! I didn't mean for it to happen! I didn't want it to happen! Yeah, me and JT didn't get along very well, but that doesn't mean I wanted the kid to die!"

"You didn't even check to see if he was okay. You didn't even try to help him. You ran away like a damn coward!"

"I know. I was a coward for that, but what was I supposed to do? If I would have stayed there I would have gotten blamed for something I didn't do.'

"You were selfish! Do you even know how much pain I've suffered? How much pain I still suffered? It's not even only me! It's everyone else too! It's Mia, Emma.."

"I know, and I'm sorry, Liberty. But I didn't do it. There's nothing I could have done. It happened too fast for me to even react."

"Would you have even done anything differently? Would you even have cared?"

"Of course I would have! Liberty, you don't even know of the guilt I've felt. I would do anything in the world to take it back but I can't. I would have loved to have grabbed that knife from him. But it happened too fast! It's not my fault. I didn't mean for him to die. I really didn't. I wish you could believe me." I said. She was in tears.

"You could have done...something!"

"I couldn't, and I hate myself for not doing something anyway." I felt a tear run down my eye. Really, Johnny? Really? "I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I wish you can see that I'm trying to change. I wanna make things better between us and everyone else! Do you think it feels good when people just hate you and are afraid of you? I just want to make things better. I wanna change. I'm not the same person I was. Look at me. I'm pouring myself out to you and I don't do that for anyone at all! Is this enough proof for you?"

The waitress with our food came back with the goods and it must have been a weird sight to come back to two people crying.

"Uh, I'll come back with extra napkins." She said. She set our food down and walked off.

"I guess you really are different..." Liberty said.

I wasn't crying anymore. "I don't cry in front of anyone."

"But what do you want from me?"

"I want you to forgive me, Liberty. You don't have to be my friend, but I want you to forgive me and let there be peace between us. Because I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"Okay? Does that mean you forgive me?"

"Yes. Let's just eat."

I couldn't be happier to eat something than I was then. Not only because I was hungry, but also knowing that all of my hard work trying to get this girl to forgive me has paid off. I was happy we both got a sense of closure then. I felt a vibration in my pocket but I ignored it because I was so hungry. As we ate we started talking about normal stuff.

"So how'd your church experience go? You don't go there too often, do you?"

"No, not really. It was alright, all minus Peter."

"Peter was there?"

"Sadly. He's a pain in the ass, I hate 'em." I said. It made her laugh. Liberty then looked out of the window and apparently saw someone she knew.

"Hm, that looks like Darcy right there, in fact. See? Walking away from here."

I looked to where she was looking and I didn't see anyone. Strange.

"I thought she was having lunch with Peter." I said.

"You let her go somewhere with Peter alone? Do you not know what he makes girls do?"

"Yeah but I trust Darcy enough to not let anything happen."

"Suit yourself, but all I'm saying is, don't be surprised if you find naked pictures of her on the internet soon." I smiled. Not at the thought of seeing naked pictures of Darcy, which would be nice, but it was funny.

Then I felt another vibration and realized it was my phone. I took it out and opened it up to find a missed call and a text. I read the text and it said something along the lines of 'have fun with your girlfriend'. It was weird because the text was from Darcy, and I was with Liberty so how could I be having fun with my girlfriend?

Uh oh, I think that means I'm busted. And great, she got the wrong idea about it.

"Johnny?" Liberty called. "You alright? You look a little surprised at something."

Surprised wasn't the word. "You know..." I said

"What?"

"That waitress never came back with those napkins."


	15. Chapter 15

I hope everyone had a great and productive weekend. I didn't get as many chapters done as I wanted, but we'll see what happens. Classes start in a week and I'm going to have to put the jets on my writing, so we'll see how that ends up turning out. This one is a shorter one, but not particularly uneventful. Please drop a comment, and thanks for reading. Enjoy.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Fifteen: Filter**_

The lunch was great but I really hope Darcy didn't get the wrong idea. Who am I kidding; she clearly did. She probably thinks I ditched her for some other girl and that I'm having some sort of weird affair. Maybe I should put myself in her shoes. If that were her and say, Peter for this purpose, then I probably would have got really mad and punched that kid out. Eh, she's got a good point now that I look at it.

After we were done we exchanged phone numbers. I didn't want to make her feel as though I was just using her to get cheap closure for myself by not talking to her again, so I told her if she needed me she could call me. I remember she said that she saw a different person in me today, and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she meant it. Maybe she liked the new Johnny DiMarco. I even walked her home, too. As I walked away I had the very strange feeling as though I had just come back from a date, and that wasn't a really good feeling at all. To be honest, I actually kind of felt like I just got busted having an affair. It was only an innocent little lunch.

I didn't wanna argue with her so I didn't drop by her house. I just figured she'd be mad at me and I think she needed some time alone. That was the right thing, right? Leaving her alone for a while. Because you know, sometimes people just need some time to themselves to think and stuff. So I let her have that time.

I made my way upstairs to my house and I was just about to get to the door when I saw a girl blocking the door. It was Darcy, and she didn't look happy.

"Hi, Darcy.." I said.

"So, you wanna explain yourself?"

"Darcy, it..."

"No, shut up. I can't believe you, Johnny. I was going back to the church to see if you were still there so that just you and I could have some lunch, and I see you with another girl. Liberty, at that. I mean seriously, Johnny. Liberty?"

I was getting a little testy with how she was making Liberty sound. "Why do you have to say it like she's the swamp monster? She's a good person."

Wrong answer. "What? Are you serious right now? You're defending her?"

"No, just..." I didn't know what to say because I didn't wanna say the wrong answer again. "I thought you had lunch with Peter."

"He offered to, but I just let him take me home and then left to see if you were still at Church. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and just tell him no, so I told him that I was tired and I had a lot of homework to do."

"Okay then..."

"So, I'm waiting."

"Darcy, it was just lunch. It wasn't like a date or anything."

"Yeah, okay. I bet you were just trying to make me jealous."

"Trying to make you jealous? How would I have known that you would've seen us?"

"I bet it made you feel good inside that you were having lunch with another girl because you thought I was with Peter."

"No, Darcy. Just listen and calm down. I saw her at Church and I asked her if she was hungry and we went to lunch. I had to talk to her about something for the longest time.."

"What was it then? I'm always seeing you looking at her and trying to talk to her like she's the popular girl and you're trying to ask her out. So what was it?"

I really didn't wanna tell her what it was we talked about. Not because I didn't feel she needed to know, but because I wasn't really ready. It's still difficult for me to open up like this. It's not me. Well, Johnny, what are you gonna do? You've got an angry girlfriend waiting for an answer. What can we do? The only thing I can think of right now, at least...

"I'm having trouble with math and she was helping me review for a test." I just had to lie.

"Yeah right, Johnny. Get real." She wasn't buying it, for sure. But I am, or used to be, a pretty good salesman.

"Darcy, what other reason could it be? I'm dumb and I suck with math while she's a nerd and is good at everything. She's got like, the highest grades in everything."

"Really?"

I moved closer to her and gave her a kiss. "Of course. You know how I feel about you. Would you ever think I'd go out on you like that?"

"Well, no." She said. "But you still could have told me where you were.."

"I know, I'm sorry." I said. We kissed for a bit after. See what you've done, Johnny? All better. Problem solved. But then we both heard a loud thump come from inside of my house.

"What was that?" Darcy asked. Then I heard a man's laughter. And then another thump.

"Uh...I don't know. But I'll call you later, okay?" I said.

"Okay. Love you." She said. We kissed again and she left, and I quickly got myself into my house. What did I find?

My mother was sitting up against the wall and my father was standing above her. He had a cigar in his mouth and he took it out and held it near her. It looks like he was gonna try to burn her with it. I couldn't let this happen.

"Dad! What the hell are you doing?" I yelled.

"Oh Johnny boy!" He said, like everything was alright. "How's it going?"

"What are you doing?"

"Your mother here was giving me a tone so, I just had to take matters into my own hands. No big deal right, you know the situation." Yeah, the 'I beat the crap outta you' situation.

"Just stop it, dad! Cut it out."

He chuckled. "Johnny, maybe you should go in your room."

"No! I'm not going anywhere. Just stop it, now!"

"Johnny, I'm not in a good mood here. Don't test me." He said. Then I saw the cigar move closer and closer to her forehead. There was no way I'd let this happen anymore, so I went at him.

I guess he saw me from the corner of his eye and he quickly turned to me and grabbed onto my shirt with his left hand. He got in my face like we were about to fight or something, and after looking into my eyes for a while he let go and walked into his room, slamming the door behind him. That was the closest we have ever got to actually fighting, and it was the first time I was a man, for once. I stood up for my mother. But there was something I just couldn't understand.

"Why didn't he hit me?" I asked.

"He loves you more than he loves me." Mom said. "He can't bring himself to hit you."

"I'm sorry, ma."

"Don't be, Johnny. I love you."

"Love you too." I said. She stood herself up and it was only then that I realized she had a cut a few inches below her right eye and some bruises. She went into the bathroom I guess to clean herself up, and I just went into my room.

I felt so much shame. Not only did I lie to my girlfriend, but I didn't even have the balls to kick my dad's ass. But how could i? He's my father. He's a jerk, but he's been good to me sometimes. I never remember him coming at me like he did today. It was always my mother. But damnit, he's my father. I can't hit my father. Maybe I wasn't being a man after all.

I never knew trying to change would involve all of this. If I knew that before, I probably would have chosen jail time.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for the late update, I didn't finish the new chapter until late so I wanted to put this one out. Anyway, thanks for reading, please drop a comment and enjoy!

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Sixteen: A Little Peculiar **_

With that whole situation with my father still on my mind I found it a challenge to fall asleep. When I finally did, at 1:30 AM, it seemed like 5 or 10 minutes into my sleep that I heard a loud noise come from my phone. I was really irritated because I thought that was my alarm going off already, but as I opened one eye to check it was a call from someone. I was too tired to see the name so I just put it back down on my bed and went back to sleep. That's strange. Who would be calling at that time in the morning? Obviously someone who hadn't heard of sleep.

Eventually, it was time to go to school. When I was heading out I noticed my dad wasn't home, or at least thought he wasn't. I didn't care, really. The farther away from my mother he is would be for the better, and also better for me, quite frankly. I met up with Lucas and we both made the walk to school. I didn't tell him about the Liberty thing because it would be unfair to have told him and not Darcy. Besides, I wasn't ready to tell anyone, really. The old me wouldn't even have thought to be that considerate.

For homeroom we all were quick to notice that Mr. Simpson wasn't there, so everyone was asking Emma where he was. She was telling them something like he was at a meeting or whatever. No big deal to me, it's one less adult to bring you down, right? I hope she was right about the meeting thing, because I don't really want something...bad happening to him. That would just be lame.

"Whoa, Johnny, are you looking at the same thing I am right now?" Lucas said. I really wasn't until then.

A tall, really hot brunette woman walked into the classroom wearing a rather low cut red blouse and a black skirt which ended just a couple of inches below her knees. The blouse wasn't too low, but it was low enough so you could see a little cleavage. I had never seen this woman before in my life, and was wondering where the hell she'd been for it. Just picture an older, hotter version of Darcy. This woman had to be maybe in her later twenties, or even thirties.

"Who is that? Is she lost or something?" I said. All of the guys were checking her out big time, and some of the girls were annoyed with that. Particularly, Manny. Of course.

"Uh, someone tell the lost prostitute she's in the wrong place. Her corner's a few blocks away." Manny said. She didn't say it loud enough for her to hear, but me and Lucas did.

"Oh lighten up, Manny. You don't have to be jealous because there's someone way hotter than you here. I'm sure people will still try to trick you into flashing them as much as they did before..." Lucas said. Nice comeback there. Manny was quiet after that.

The woman, looking rather uncomfortable after hearing what Lucas said, went to the middle of the room to say something. "Hi everyone. Mr. Simpson is in a meeting today so I'll be your substitute homeroom instructor."

"And what might your name be, my love?" Lucas asked her. What a guy.

"I'm Ms. Moran."

That's actually a cool name. Doesn't it just roll off of your tounge? Ms. Moran...

"Did you hear that, DiMarco?" Lucas began to ask. "She said MS. Moran. I got dibs!"

And so that was the highlight of the morning. A hot substitute teacher is what every school boy dreams of, isn't it? I guess Van Halen was right about being hot for teacher. Too bad I probably wouldn't have her again during the day, because that would be cool.

Lunchtime came and I was relieved that I finally could be with Darcy. I felt I haven't seen her in days. I was walking over to her locker when I felt someone hug me. I assumed it was Darcy so I smiled. But then I turned around to give her a kiss, and it wasn't Darcy. It was Liberty.

"Uh...hi?" I nervously said.

"Hey! Did you get my call last night? I know it was kind of late, but I was bored." She replied. She was the nutcase who called me at whatever time in the morning?

"That was you?"

"Yeah, Im sorry. But you know, there's only so many people to call at 4 in the morning when you're bored." She said. Does she not have, like, other friends?"

"Oh. Well I was sleeping, so.."

"I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah, sure I guess." In the background I saw Peter. It looked as though he was lurking around, and when he saw us he ran off somewhere. Weird.

"So hey, you wanna eat lunch together?"

"Uh, I usually have lunch with my friends."

"Oh, nevermind, it's okay. What about this afternoon at The Dot?"

"Uh...alright." I wanted to say no so I could hang with Darcy, but I didn't want to upset Liberty and then she'd be upset and we'd have to start all over again from square one.

"Yay, great. I can't wait!" She said. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away.

Talk about weird.

After that fiasco I started looking for Darcy throughout the hallway. Then I saw her talking to some blonde boy (who else but Peter) and I didn't wanna just barge in because that would be rude, and if you didn't remember before, the new Johnny has some consideration now. I have to be honest though, I was tempted to ruin their time just because it was Peter. They were around a corner and I just leaned up against the wall so I could hear what they were saying.

"..So you'd better watch out for him, Darce."

"Why? You don't actually think he's cheating, do you?"

"It's Johnny DiMarco we're talking about here!"

"Yeah, and not the same Johnny we knew a month ago."

"Oh c'mon, Darcy, don't fall for that act. The only reason why he's even pulling the 'changed man' stunt is so that he can get in your pants. Even I can see that."

"I don't believe that, Peter. He really is changing. He really is different."

"I'm just saying, watch out for him. I just saw him and Liberty flirtin' it up a couple of minutes ago. She was all over him, Darcy."

"Yeah, right. If she was then I know Johnny would have done something about that."

"He did do something about it: nothing. She was hugging him and kissing him and he was just soaking it all in."

"Whatever, Peter. Why should I even believe you?"

"Fine, if you don't believe me, goto The Dot later after school. You'll see them together, on a date."

"It's not a date. Ever think that he's just bad in math and is getting help with homework?"

"Darcy, get real here. Johnny DiMarco doing homework? Please."

"Whatever, Peter. I'm gonna go find him now." Darcy said. I didn't want them to see me coming so I quickly walked backwards a couple of steps and then walked forwards in their direction to give them the illusion that I was just passing by. It worked, because me and Darcy ran into each other.

"Hey!" I said.

"We were just talking about you!" Darcy said, giving me a kiss on the lips. Peter rolled his eyes and walked away while I kept my cool. That snake was trying to set me up so she'd think I was cheating.

It makes me feel bad though, because she is trusting me, Johnny DiMarco the liar, over Peter the liar. It shouldn't be too bad though, because it's not like I'm actually cheating or actually have feelings for Liberty. She will have to know, but not now. It's way too early.

After another day of school ended me and Lucas met up with our other boys to walk it home. They were probably going to get pizza but I didn't wanna eat because I was meeting Liberty at The Dot. Of course, they weren't going to know that. We met in the front and then walked out onto the steps and went to the side to wait for the rest of them. Then suddenly, we saw Ms. Moran walk out of school, holding her purse and putting her sunglasses on. She ran her hand through her hair. I swear, she looks like something that just came out of a movie. It was almost slow motion looking at her.

"I'll call you tonight, Ms. Moran!" Lucas yelled out. She looked back at him, unimpressed.

"Ouch."

"Eh, no problem. She'll come through eventually." Lucas replied. We watched her as she was making her way into a car parked in front of the school. We looked to see who was in the car, and it was a familiar face to both of us.

"I'm tellin ya, that guy must a pimp or something. I see him all the time with hot broads! What a lucky bastard."

A bastard, alright. It was my damn father.

When i went home I nearly told my mother about his cheating but I was pretty sure she knew. I can't believe he would even go as far as date a teacher from my school. I wonder what even compels women to go to him. He probably forces them by beating them mercifully. What a guy.

Going to meet Liberty at The Dot, I was frustrated and had a lot on my mind. Mainly, my father. So when I met Liberty there I wasn't completely there. We sat down at a table and, looking out in front of me, I saw she had got me some coffee or whatever. I don't drink that stuff. It's a little too dorky for me.

I refrained from giving her hugs that were too long because Darcy might actually stop by and make sure I wasn't cheating. I guess it was because I was too worried about my dad, and Darcy, that it was completly boring and I was uninterested throughout the whole thing. Liberty didn't notice a thing, though, because she was talking to me like I was one of the girls or something. That's weird.

"I never knew you were so fun to hang out with, Johnny."

"I never thought I was." I replied. Quite frankly, I thought I was being boring and that was because I just wasn't totally there.

"No, you really are. You actually listen to what I'm saying and not many people have done that. The only person that's ever done that...was JT.." She was comparing me to JT? No way am I anything like him. Even the new me is nothing like JT.

"Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah." Then she did some kind of motion with her head as if she was snapping out of a day-dream. "Hey I've got homework to do, so let's do this again some time?"

"Alright sounds good." Honestly, I couldn't be happier that this was over. To me, it was boring and uneventful, and whatever Liberty was saying I surely wasn't listening. It's not because she's a boring person or anything, it's just that I've got so much of these emotions inside of me that took over my mind for the time being. Like evil aliens, almost.

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Johnny." She said, giving me a hug. Then she left.

Sitting there alone I thought about my father being the cheating jerk he is, Peter being the snake that he is, and Darcy, being as perfect as she is. I knew I had to tell her what was really going on between me and Liberty. I did want to be friends with her, but I didn't think she would call me at 4 in the morning or hug me un-expectantly. But eh, no big deal, it's not going to get out of hand. Well, at least I hope it's not. I think we'll maintain a steady friendship so it shouldn't be a problem. I thought I'd be done with her but I guess not. It would probably make me seem like I haven't changed at all.

After being there for ten minutes thinking, Spinner was giving me an odd look so I quickly left. As soon as I left, I ran into a girl again. It was Darcy.

"Hey! I was just looking for you!" She said.

The timing seriously could not have been better.


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry for the skipped day, yesterday was very very late night writing so I figured it would be better if I wated to release this one until today. Just got done with a very long chapter and nearing the end of my ideas, so I've gotta make another plan. Anyway thanks for reading, please drop a review. Enjoy, take it easy.

_**Who You Are - A Degrassi Fan Fiction**_

_**Chapter Seventeen: All but the Same**_

When I think of it, doing the same routine everyday gets boring. I mean, I wake up, go to school with Lucas, be bored at school, then come home with the guys and go to sleep and do the same thing over again. I mean, the old Johnny at least wasn't doing the same things everyday. Sometimes we caused trouble, or hung out at night or whatever. It was wrong, but damnit it was fun! This is boring. Change is boring.

So I wake up in the morning and do the same thing I did before. But for some reason when I left, Lucas was in front of my house. That's weird because we usually meet up somewhere else.

"Hey Lucas, what are you doing here today?"

"Eh, I figured you got tired of meeting in the same place all the time so I thought I'd change it up a bit." He replied. It's like he's been reading my mind for the past hour.

"Nice, dude." I gave him a pound and we started walking to school. Then I started thinking about some things, and I thought maybe I should start telling him about Liberty. I figure if I can tell Lucas these things, then Darcy wouldn't be a problem. I don't know. Maybe I'll just wait.

"Hey man, I don't know if you've heard but I was chillin' at the park yesterday with the guys and there's a lot of rumors about you, man." Lucas said.

"Oh boy, that sounds fun."

"Yeah, well these are nasty rumors. They're saying you're cheating on Darcy to be with Liberty. Gross."

"Wow, really?" I replied. I wasn't really surprised with the rumor and I figured that Peter was the one who started it. He's probably trying to make me snap so that I'd mess up and be kicked out of school for good. I won't let him break me, though. Or maybe he's trying to pry Darcy away from me for himself. He does still like her, y'know.

"Yeah, man. They're not...true are they?"

"Dude, you know me. If I was seeing two people you'd be the first to know."

"Yeah, I guess. But I've seen you two hanging around a lot lately, though. So, I don't know."

"When have you seen us hanging out?"

"She came up behind you yesterday during lunch, and then we saw you sitting down with her at The Dot."

Wow, I really didn't think he'd notice any of that. "Oh."

"So, what's up with that man? Do you like her or something?"

I sighed. "Look, I'm gonna tell you this but I haven't even told Darcy, so..."

"You can trust me."

"Alright. You know how I'm trying to change and everything, so I remembered the night when JT got stabbed and I didn't do anything about it. But I couldn't do anything, it happened too fast. But anyway, she's still been hurt about it and I've been trying to get her alone so I could tell her that I'm changing and that I was sorry for it."

"Oh. That was a pretty decent thing you did there, Johnny."

"I'm just trying to start new. I'm tired of carrying this baggage just because I'm Johnny DiMarco. If people gave me a chance they'd see I'm not a bad guy anymore."

"You were never a bad guy to me, John. I see you're changing and that's great, but I want you to know that always I'll have your back."

"I appreciate that, Lucas and the same goes for you."

"Of course!" Before we knew it we were in front of school. We made our way up the steps and a giant bald dude came out and blocked us. It was Mr. Simpson.

"Lucas, I need to talk to you for a second." He said.

"What did I do now, Simpson?"

"Apparently a certain substitute teacher wasn't happy with the way you addressed her yesterday..."

"Oh, c'mon! That woman clearly wanted me!"

"Come with me." He said, grabbing him by the ear and taking him inside of the school. Poor Lucas.

I made my way inside and felt someone's arms wrap around my waist from behind. I'll be damned if I fall for the same trick again.

"Yes, nice to see you too, Liberty. You can't come-"

"Liberty?" The person said. It certainly didn't sound like Liberty's voice.

It was Darcy.

When I turned around and realized it was her, I had a number of curse words floating throughout my head. I knew I was totally screwed at that point, but I had to come up with something.

"I mean Darcy!" That was the best I could have come up with.

"Liberty? Really, Johnny?"

"It's not what you think it is, Darcy. Don't believe any of these dumb rumors you're hearing because they're not true. I promise."

"Whatever, Johnny." Then she walked away. I guess she was mad.

I couldn't really explain everything there because I wasn't going to have that conversation for the population of Degrassi High to hear, so I was stuck in a hole there. Just when things were starting to go smoothly.

We went the rest of the day without talking. When we made eye contact, she looked pissed off and just looked in another direction. I just hoped she wasn't too mad at me for that because it was an accident. I wish I could tell her everything, but the time just wasn't right. Sure I told Lucas, but it doesn't feel right to talk to Darcy about it. I don't know why, it just feels that way.

When I got home that afternoon I was treated to the sight of my father with his hands around my mother's throat. She was screaming and he was yelling at her to shut up. I was already having a crappy day already and the last thing I needed was to come home to my wife beating father doing a number on my mother. I slammed the door behind me and dad turned around and saw me.

We made eye contact and it stood that way for a good 20 seconds, and then he took his hands off of her throat, pushed her a bit and walked into his room. He also slammed the door. I asked my mom if she was okay and she was, going back to sitting on the couch and watching TV like nothing happened. But I knew deep down inside she was happy with the type of influence I was beginning to have on my dad.

I went into my room and thought about that influence too. Ever since I got in his face he seemed different. I guess he doesn't want to fight with me, but one thing sure is true now. That I, finally, had power over that S.O.B.


End file.
